


Jealou$y

by endmylife (ukulelemilk)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Arctic Monkeys, The Neighbourhood (Band)
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Love Triangle, dont read it, fluff??, i hate myself and this fanfic, i wrote it as a joke, its actually trash im not kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-22 04:45:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 37
Words: 38,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7420438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukulelemilk/pseuds/endmylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brie and Zach were undoubtedly in love, until one day when Calum shows up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling For You

Brie

Zach Abels is everything to me, and has been for years. The first day I met him was awhile ago, in the beginning of high school. We were assigned to work together, and the second our eyes met, I felt a dark, unreleased urge inside of me. When he first spoke to me, I knew that I wanted him in my life, and not just as friends. I wanted him to kiss my neck, to feel his love all over me, and I wanted to be able to fall asleep in his arms every night for the rest of my life. 

At first, we were distant from one another, only speaking when absolutely necessary. We never could maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds without me glancing away, scared he would figure out what I was thinking about.

There was something to him that was entirely irresistible to me. I mean, I was always the type of girl to go through lots of crushes in a very short time period, but Zach's presence never left my mind. I was constantly on edge, wanting to hear his voice, and craving the smallest bit of interaction between us.

One day in early December, it all changed between us. 

Flashback

Zach grabs my hand and pulls me to the side of the hallways and leans against the lockers, looking at me with his intense gaze. 

"Zach, what are you doing?" I cautiously ask.

"I- Brie, I really like you," he blurts out. 

My eyes widen in shock and my hands start to shake. 

"What?" I ask, wondering if I heard him right.

"I like you," he says again.

I feel my face morph into a ridiculous smile. 

"Zach, I like you too," I tell him. Everything about this seems so right, like it was all meant to be.

Flashback over

I remember walking through the rest of the day in a haze. I kept reeling over what had happened in that hallway. Nothing seemed real to me after that point. My whole life felt like one of those dreams where everything is seamless and perfect, but you always know that it's not real and never want to wake up. 

He kissed me a few days after our spontaneous hallway rendezvous. I'll never forget the taste of his lips that day. He had looked at me with such hope and expectation. I knew after that kiss, that we would indefinitely be together.

Over the course of high school, I had a lot of friends and interests that faded away, but Zach was always there. Zach always had a certain way to cheer me up if things were tough. We spent every moment together we could, not caring what anyone thought of us. We were the envy of the school. Everyone wanted what we had, the deep, inseverable connection that never ceased. 

Flashback

Zach and I are lying in my bed, both of us silent, when he suddenly says, "I love you."

I turn onto my side so that I can look at him properly. I study his expression in the dim moonlight. 

"Really?"

"Yes." 

I roll onto my back and grab his hand, the warmth from it radiating through my body.

"I love you too."

"You know, I never really wanted to be your friend," he tells me, his tone light.

"Why is that?" I ask. 

"I wanted to kiss your neck."

He does exactly that.

Flashback Over

Four years later, and we've never looked back from that moment.


	2. You're All I Taste

Our love and relationship was more than just fooling around though. 

There was something dark and irrevocably passionate between us. Zach looks at me like I am the ocean and he is desperately trying to drown. I can and will love him to death. And he will let me. Gladly. When he touches me it feels like a storm beneath his fingertips, the rolling of clouds, the snap of lightning. When I kiss him, I know I am the sugar on his tongue and the champagne in his bloodstream. He is a lethal injection in my blood that I have no escape from. He will run through my veins and into my heart, intoxicating me with his everlasting love. He will be the death of me, but I am perfectly content to die with his arms around my waist and his taste on my tongue. 

I am forever going to be forever tyrannized by his ferocious passion and dedication.


	3. All We Do is Drive

Brie

We graduated from high school two weeks ago, and neither Zach nor I have any plans thus far. We've been mostly just hanging around at each others houses and spending a lot of time making out.

Today, I'm gonna ask Zach to take a road trip with me to California. He hasn't been there in a while, and it's the perfect way to celebrate surviving high school. 

"Zachary," I tease him, knowing he hates it when I call him by his full name. 

"What, Brianna?" He knows that my full name annoys me too, obviously. 

"Do you wanna drive to California with me?" I ask him, crossing my fingers that he'll say yes. 

"Hell yeah," he smiles, "This is gonna be so sick." 

"Let's leave tonight," I suggest, wanting to get going as soon as possible. 

"Sounds good to me." He kisses me excitedly. "I'm gonna run home and pack some stuff. Don't forget to pack your bikinis," he slyly says, winking. 

"Zach don't be an idiot," I laugh, punching him in the arm. 

"I am always being an idiot," he says, laughing harder. 

"Just go pack," I say rolling my eyes. 

~

We've been driving for about six hours when we decide to stop at a random motel to rest for the night. We agree that we would head out again in the morning and hopefully make it to California within the next few days. 

The drive so far had been stunningly perfect. Zach had offered to drive right away, being the selfless man that I was in love with. We had listened to great music the entire drive down, hours listening to a amazing combo of All Time Low, Twenty One Pilots and Blink-182. I even managed to convince Zach to let me listen to the some of the songs that he's written with his band.

I had shamelessly forced Zach to listen to 5 Seconds of Summer because listening to them is one of those critical needs in my life. I needed to listen to She's Kinda Hot as much as I needed to breathe.

It was one of the most serene and perfect moments I had experienced with him. Zach drove with one hand on the wheel and the other in my lap, or holding my hand at points. 

He looked magnificent with his loose white shirt and blue jeans, with the golden sunlight streaming onto him. He was an otherworldly angelic creature and he belonged entirely to me. I loved feeling of the hot summer air on my skin and the wind in my dark hair. I few minutes I had glanced up to see Zach smiling at me. As the miles passed by, I fell more and more in love with him.


	4. You Should Fuck Me Tonight

We had just checked into the room and were just hanging out on the bed, talking and cuddling. After a while I decided to go for a quick walk before it got dark. I told Zach that I was going to go stretch my legs and kissed him quickly on the check before slipping quietly out of the room. 

I was slowly wandering down the hall when I roughly collided with a warm and muscular body. I sharply looked up and found myself looking into the rich brown eyes of the most magnificent human being on this planet, Calum Hood, and my world froze over for what feels like eternity. All I can focus on are his beautiful dark brown eyes. I can see every small fleck in his irresistibly beautiful irises. I can see how his eyes are narrowed and rounded into perfection. When he looks down at me the light sifts into his eyes differently and the appear to lighten by the smallest fraction. All it takes is that shift of the light to bring me back to real life. 

"Calum?" I stutter, breathless. 

I realize I can't miss this opportunity that I have hoped for ever since I was young. I've had a everlasting celebrity crush on Calum and can barely process what's happening.

"Am I dreaming?" I accidentally say aloud. 

"No, but I am the stuff dreams are made of," he stupidly smirks. 

I shake my head, not surprised at all by his behaviour.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Calum asks. 

"Like what?" I say, even though I know exactly what I'm doing. 

"Like you want to slam me against the wall and kiss me," he plainly says. 

I want to to this even if it will shatter Zach's heart into smithereens. 

"That's because I do."

"You want to kiss me?" 

"I want to do more than kiss you," I suggestively imply.

I look up at him and pull his lips onto mine. I wrap my arms around Calum's neck and my legs around his waist. I couldn't have waited a second longer. I fall in love with the feel of his solid body against mine and his lips on my skin.

I want to rid myself of Zach and release myself of his suffocating grasp and let Calum take over my body and mind. I forcefully kiss Calum with every piece of strength and muscle in my body. He violently responds with the most unbelievable passion and skill. I feel myself forget about Zach. I forget about his existence. I forget everything about him. All the precious memories, all the years together, are washed away by Calum Hood's tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate myself lol


	5. Make Me Feel Like I am Breathing

The movement of Calum pushing me up against the wall makes me flash back to Zach. I realize that if I carry on with Calum than it is almost guaranteed that I will lose Zach forever. For some reason that thought doesn't scare me as much as I hoped and thought it would. 

Calum seems to notice my hesitance and slows his movements by a fraction. 

"Calum don't stop. I need you," I gasp, out of breath.

"Okay."

He obliges, kissing me even harder than before. His hands are all over me and my hands are all over him. He kisses along my collarbone, making me moan.

The moment doesn't last. I stiffen as I hear a door open and someone walk down the hallway. I realize that I am making out with Calum in the middle of a fucking hallway. I quickly pull away from Calum and turn to see Zach standing there with his eyes wide open. He is stuck there, frozen and shocked, shirtless with dripping wet hair and the most disbelieving look on his face.

In the midst of my panicking I give myself an ultimatum. I could yell 'screw you' to Zach and continue on with Calum, or I could stop and beg Zach to forgive me.

After literally no consideration, I turn away from Zach and look at Calum with utter certainty and whisper, "Make me forget about him and make me never wanna go back to him." 

Calum smirks and says, "Why would you ever want to when you have me?" 

He puts his arm around my waist and we're about to go into his hotel room when Zach warns, "Brie, don't do this. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. You will regret this. You love me, not him. Don't leave me."

I glance back, see a brick on the floor, pick it up and throw it as hard as I possibly can at Zach and kind of laugh. Unfortunately he doesn't even get hurt. It just bounces off his rippling six pack and hits the floor with a dull thud. I shrug carelessly and casually kiss Calum's neck while making eye contact with Zach. I reach up and touch my hair and notice that it feels pretty tangled but then realize it's about to get messed up anyways. 

It's not long before the door is closed and I'm in Calum's bed, moaning his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HATE MYSELF


	6. I Just Have Nightmares

After what feels like hours, Calum and I collapse into each others arms, covered in sweat and chests heaving. I sigh in content and cuddle myself into his chest, loving every moment.

"Brie," Calum mumbles, already fading.

"Yeah?" I ask, my eyes half closed.

"I really like you." He rubs his eyes with one hand and starts lightly snoring, leaving me awake in the silent room.

"I like you too Calum," I respond, even though he won't be able to hear me anymore.

I lay my head on his chest and let his steady heartbeat lull me to sleep.

Dream

I'm in a tiny coffee shop buying a black and white colored latte when a weird remix of the Arctic Monkeys and Marina and the Diamonds comes on. All of a sudden, a bunch of these emo kids just started pouring out from under the tables. I tried backing into the corner to avoid the crowds of people.

Then I saw a glimpse of Zach slipping out the door of the coffee shop and onto the streets of Simi Valley. I tried to chase after him but I couldn't get through the mob of people that were still horded inside.

I tried to shove through the ridiculous amount of emo kids, yelling, "Zach, I am so sorry. Please listen to me. I want another chance. Please!"

He either didn't hear me or chose to ignore me. After I finally fought through the crowd and made it out onto the sidewalk he was gone. I rapidly scanned the area looking for him, but he was nowhere that I could see. I wandered through the streets but around every corner I turned, I saw groups of teenage boys. They were all wearing outlandish neon high socks and playing basketball.

One of the boys called out to me, "Ball is life! Come play ball with us."

I shook my head quickly and tried to find Zach, but he seemed to have completely disappeared from Simi Valley.

I was so mesmerized by all the basketballs soaring through the air, and tried to keep walking but I could never find Zach.

I ended up in a field hours later, crying for Zach to save me from my incessant torment.

He appears at the edge of the field, just beyond the dead grass, with tears in his dark eyes. I try to reach him, but he just fades away into nothingness and all that's left of him are a pair of sunglasses stuck in the dried mud. I bend down to pick them up and just as my fingers wrap around them, I am roughly awakened.

Dream Over

I roll over in the queen-sized bed and try to reach for Zach, who would always comfort me if I had a bad dream.

When my fingers brush an unfamiliar arm, everything comes back to me. My mind floods with unnerving visions of that old yellow brick hitting Zach and Calum kissing my neck with his eyes full of lust. I sit up in a panic, grab a random shirt off the ground that's probably not mine, and run out of the room.


	7. You Don't Know What You're Running From

I run to the end of the hallway, in the opposite direction of the rooms Calum and Zach are separately in. I pound down the stairs, not caring that it's 2am and I'm making to much noise and most likely waking people up. When I reach the ground level a slam open the doors nearest to me and step outside, gulping in the humid air. I gradually sink to the pavement, exhausted and overwhelmed. I can't believe how I fucked everything up so badly in less than 24 hours. I probably destroyed all my years with Zach with one regrettable choice. 

What I did was truly unforgivable, but I guess I can try. My only other option is to go back to Calum and see how it goes from there. I sit there, on the grimy hotel floor, internally screaming for until the concept of time escapes me. 

Much time later, I shakily stand up and walk around to the other side of the hotel and into the faintly lit parking lot. I breathe in the night air and take a moment to consider how surreal everything feels. I decide to at least apologize to Zach, even if he understandably wants to leave me. 

I check and see that our car is still there and know that he must still be here. I prepare myself for heartbreak. Zach probably won't ever want to see me again after what I did to him. I deserve it though, I deserve whatever gets thrown at me, because what I did with Calum was so very wrong.

I realize that the only thing I'm wearing is Calum's baggy shirt and that I don't have my room key anymore. It must be in my shorts that are now somewhere in Calum's room. I don't have the guts to go into his room to get the key. I'll just have to knock on Zach's door and pray that he answers. 

~

I stand outside Zach's room, nerves cutting into me like knives. My hand raises slowly and knocks on his door sharply. I hear feet shuffling in the room and then the door opens. My breath catches when I see Zach. He is, for some odd reason, still not wearing a shirt and has that half asleep look on his face that I love. 

Maybe I'll have to start saying loved instead of love.

As soon as the door is fully open, I rush into my apology.

"Zach I am so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me, please. I know it might be hard, but I think we can survive this. I will do anything, just please forgive me."

He cuts me off, "You don't just get to say sorry and then think everything will be fine. I was going to propose to you tonight, but instead you fucking broke my heart."

I am startled by the sudden turn of events. Sleeping with Calum on the night he was supposed to propose is unspeakably horrible and I feel even worse than before.

He continues yelling at me, "We were truly perfect for each other, until you messed it all up. We could have been in love forever, but now there is nothing left for me to love. You know what Brie, Taylor Swift was right, band-aids don't fix bullet holes. So no, I will never forgive you." 

With that, he slams the door in my face. 

Just before it shuts, I see the the glimmer of wet tears on his cheeks.


	8. Take My Keys

I sneak back to Calum's room after the fiasco with Zach, hoping that no one sees me. I have make-up running down my face, and can barely see as I stumble towards his room. 

Thankfully, I had left the door open in my rush to escape. I peer into the room and see that Calum is still lying on his side with his hands between his thighs, asleep. 

All of our clothes are strewn around the room in various locations. I take a deep breath before creeping in as quietly as possible. I try to grab all my clothes without waking Calum up. I don't want him to know that I left, talked to Zach, and am now leaving again

"You can leave those shorts off, you won't be needing them anyways." 

I turn around and see Calum sitting up and smirking at me. He looks heavenly and disheveled and I feel the dark urge to go back and cuddle with him, but I know that Zach and his saddening tears are still nearby.

"Calum, I am so sorry but this was a complete mistake, I really have to go."

"How soon do you have to go?" Calum asks as he seductively wraps his arms around my waist. 

My heart beat accelerates and my breathing becomes erotic for the a perfect moment. I tear myself away and mutter an apology once more and hurry out of the hotel room. 

Once outside, I'm pleasantly surprised to have a set of keys in my pocket. I hit the unlock button and instead of unlocking Zach's 2007 Honda Civic, it unlocks Calum's flashy convertible.

I briefly entertain the idea that he put his keys in the pocket of my shorts so that I would be able to use them.

That means that he knew that I left to talk to Zach, and also knew I would be leaving him too. Somehow he still decided to help me. My heart warms at the gesture, even Zach would not go that far for me. I decide to just go with it and climb into his car and then get immediately assaulted with the delicious smell of Calum. I feel every muscle relax into the soft leather of the car seat. I drive off into the dark night.

Six Weeks Later

I'm sitting outside a gas station in Idaho, well past midnight, holding a pregnancy test in my hand. I look at the positive result and my shoulders start to shake and I bury my head in my hands. I don't know what to do. I don't even know who's child it is.

I look up when I hear a car pulling up to the gas pumps, wiping the stray tears away. 

I do a double take when I realize that Calum is driving that car. He majestically steps out of a black shiny car and walks towards me. 

I am overjoyed to see him and feel a massive smile spreading on my face. I quickly stuff the pregnancy test into the front of my shirt and hope that Calum didn't see it and won't find out, ever.

When he approaches me he sensually whispers, "Hello Brie." 

I aggressively hug him, needing to feel him against my skin. 

He frowns when he pulls away and says, "What is in your shirt? Is that just your phone or something?"

I stutter, "Uh... not exactly."

He reaches down my shirt and pulls out the pregnancy test.

He frowns at it for a minute before muttering to himself, "The rumors were right about this."

"What? What do you mean? You knew I was pregnant?" I shakily ask, concerned about the number of people who might now think that I'm pregnant.

A confused look passes over his face as he hands me back the test and pulls his phone out of his pocket with two fingers. I see the time flash, 12:16am.

Calum shows me a photo of me holding the pregnancy test that I had taken yesterday.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he softly demands.

I scramble for an answer "Uh, I-."

"Brie, this is news that you should be telling me!"

"Calum, I'm so sorry, but I'm not keeping it. I can't, having a child will kill me."

"No, you have to keep it. I want to keep it. This is the best news I have heard in a very long time."

"I don't want to, Cal, I apologize."

"Please." He drags out the word and looks into my eyes, convincing me in seconds.

"Okay, fine. I'll keep it just for you Calum, I would do anything for you."

I remember saying a very similar thing to Zach and am hit by a wall of oncoming memories.

Flashback to High School

"Hey Brie can you keep the papers for the project?"

"No Zach you have to keep them, and please do not lose them."

"Please, just keep them for me," he whines.

He wins me over with his devastatingly charming smile.

"Okay, fine. I'll keep them for you Zach."

Flashback Over

"Brie are you okay?" 

Calum comes back into focus looking very concerned. My heart melts with the affection he is showing me, but Zach is still in the back of my mind, as always.


	9. I Want to be Honest

Brie

Calum and I decide to check into a nearby hotel for awhile, or at least until we sort everything out.

Calum holds the door open for me as we enter a quaint motel somewhere in Idaho. We check into a room with one bed, so it looks like I'll have to share a bed with Calum. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse. 

I find a place to put away the few meager possessions I have accumulated since being on the road. 

With nothing left to do while Calum is showering, I flop down on the bad. Almost straight away, my mind drifts over to Zach. I wonder where he is right now and if he's okay. I've been worried about him. I wanted to go talk to him, but I was terrified that seeing me would only hurt him more.

My thoughts always consume and overwhelm me with darkness whenever there is an unfilled moment. I am scared to breathe and scared to sleep. I feel deranged and alone with nothing left for me here. 

Maybe Zach was right, maybe there isn't anything left to love in me. I know that Calum is going to leave me too. I don't know how or if I will survive if that happens. I desperately need something or someone to hold onto right now, and Calum is my last hope. It may be inappropriate for me to latch onto the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with, but at this point, I don't even care.

~

At last he emerges from the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair dripping wet. I envision how tantalizingly moist his skin must be right now and start having unsuitable thoughts about what I would rather be doing with him than just talking.

I look at him and say, "Calum, I want to know everything that has happened since I left. I'm really confused about how you knew I was pregnant, and how you got here so fast. I mean, I only found out yesterday myself." 

Calum winces and stiffly says, "Well... I may have written I song about you-" 

"You wrote a song about us sleeping together?" I screech, "Does it mention the part where I get pregnant too?" 

"No! Of course not. It isn't like that, I promise," he hurriedly tries to explain when his explanation starts backfiring.

"Okay," I sigh, giving him a sketchy look, "Continue with what you were saying about the song." 

"After I wrote the song, a lot of fans began to speculate who it was about and I guess they somehow found out that it was about you. Your boyfriend may have had some part in that, I am not sure." 

"Ex-boyfriend," I correct him.

"Anyways, someone found out you were in Idaho and sent out a picture of you holding the pregnancy test and just by coincidence I stumbled upon it," Calum explains.

"Stumbled upon it..." I mutter, sarcasm dripping like acid of my tongue.

"Yes, that's what happened," he benevolently explains to me.

"Okay," I say, not really believing it. I have a strong suspicion that Calum has been somehow monitoring my recent activities.

He rolls his eyes, but keeps talking.

"Right away I knew I had to come see you. The thing is, I was going to give you a few months of space and the come look for you, because, Brie, I think I am in love with you," he says in a messy rush.

I don't believe him at all.

I know what love is, and it's not what Calum is feeling. Love at first sight doesn't exist. 

"You're just saying that because I am pregnant, right?" I ask, even though I won't believe his answer either way.

"No, I mean it. I saw you at my concert all those years ago and a part of me has always been intrigued by you. I always wondered what happened to you, and when I saw you at that motel, I knew I had to do something." 

His side of the story is weirdly similar to mine. He went for me for the exact same reason I went for him,

"Wait, Calum, before you say anything else, I really have to tell you something important." I awkwardly tell him.

"Uh- okay. What is it?" Calum asks. 

"Well, the thing is, I am not sure that the baby is actually yours."


	10. Swim With Me

I am lying on the hotel bed, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for Calum to answer the horrific news I've just told him. 

I have no clue at all how he's gonna take it. I guess he would either be okay with it, even if it wasn't his child, or just go completely awol and leave me here to waste away with my unborn child. 

My subconscious is telling me that Calum will stay with me, no matter what.

I really hope it's right. 

He sighs slowly and I desperately want to know what is running through his head right now. 

I'm pretty sure that the baby is his, but there is a slightest possibility that it could be Zach's. At this point I am not completely sure who's child I even want it to be. I know that Calum would take this whole parenting thing a lot better than Zach.

If it were to be Zach's, then I guess I would have to go talk to him and tell him. I don't know what would happen between Calum and I, if the child did end up belonging to Zach. 

If the father is Zach, then maybe it would open up the possibility for me to get back together with him. I know he is super pissed off with me and stuff, but he would at least listen to me, wouldn't he? 

On the flip side, I already know that Calum is, or was, super enthusiastic about my pregnancy. He is weirdly excited to be a dad and at the prospect of spending his life with me.

Calum's voice breaks my train of thoughts. "Do you wanna go swimming? I'm pretty sure they have a pool here. I mean, only if you want to. It's up to you," he asks.

I laugh aloud at the randomness of his mind. "Uh, I guess so- don't you want to talk about this though?" 

"Of course I think that we should talk about this, but talking about it while we go for a swim seems like a better place to talk than in here. Don't you agree?" 

"I understand what you mean." I say and wink at Calum. 

A rush of relief washes over me as I see that his initial reaction is pretty good so far. 

~

We are sitting at the edge of the pool with our feet in the water and my head on Calum's warm, firm shoulder. Our hands, arms, and legs are intertwined and I just want this moment to go on for an indefinite amount of time, but I know we have things that need to be discussed.

"What are you thinking about?" I wince at how painfully awkward I sound. 

"Whatever you're thinking about," he says. 

I pause, "Was that a Daddy Issues reference?"

He laughs at me. "Yeah."

I roll my eyes at his adorable idiocy. "What are you actually thinking about?"

"Well, currently I am thinking that we should get pizza for lunch tomorrow, but I don't think that's what you meant," he says.

"That isn't what I meant," I say. 

"Before we talk anymore, Calum, I really have to know what you want to do about this fetus problem. It's probably yours, but I can tell you I'm not 100% sure about it," I admit. 

"Why aren't you sure?" Calum asks.

"Uh- Zach and I were... together, a day or two before the thing happened with you," I falteringly tell him.

I glance over and see that Calum is wincing and pretending to cover his ears. 

"I'm sorry, I just want you to know all the details before you make the decision to stay with me." 

"I understand what you are saying, but I also don't want you to feel obliged to do anything with or for me. I know that I'm not your boyfriend, even though I wish I was."

His hand wraps around mine as he speaks.

"Wait, what?" 

I feel like I'm imagining things.

"Brie, I wish I was your boyfriend, but I get that I'm not so I can't pressure you into being with me or anything like that." 

"I wish you were my boyfriend," I confess and almost choke on all the emotions. 

His eyes darken lustfully when I say those words. 

Calum clears his throat and breaks the silence. "I guess before we start dating or whatever, we should get a DNA test for the fetus." 

"I don't think anywhere where we could make that happen will be open at this time," I say, noting that it's probably past midnight and I should get to sleep, being pregnant and all. 

"I know something we can do to pass the time until then." Calum suggestively smirks at me.

He grabs my hand and pulls me into the moonlit water with him. 

"Is it weird that Jealou$y is lowkey playing in my head right now?" Calum asks.

"A little bit." 

I giggle as Calum starts kissing my neck. It only really hit me then about how much I missed him. I stand on my tip toes and kiss him properly, the way I had wanted to do all those weeks when I was alone on the highway. I kiss under his ear and whisper, "Can this be continued in our room?" 

"That is a good idea," he slyly whispers back. I gasp when he picks me up carries me out of the pool, droplets of water from his hair dripping onto me. 

For the first night in weeks, I fall asleep without Zach tearing apart my mind. 

My only conscious thought is the feel of Calum's arms around me and how content I am to fall asleep beside him again.


	11. Crawling Back to You

Brie

I gradually wake up to to the sound of Calum lightly snoring. His arms are still wrapped around my waist and I can't help but stare at how adorable he looks when he's sleeping. I shake my head at my feelings for him. 

I try my best to slip out of the room quietly, but he wakes up when he hears me opening the door.

"Brie, where are you going?" Calum asks, his voice still thick with sleep.

"I was going to go for a walk or something. I didn't mean to wake you up," I tell him.

"Come back to bed, I want to cuddle with you."

Once again, he wins me over with his adorably magnetic persona. 

I sigh and go lie down beside Calum. He wraps his arm around me and presses his face against my neck and whispers terribly romantic things in my ear. 

Eventually, I drift into a restless sleep, and the dreams start all over again. 

Dream 

I'm back at that motel Zach and I stopped at in Oregon, the place we were going to rest before we finished driving to California. 

Everything is happening exactly as it happened that night, the night I cheated on Zach, until I left the room we were staying in. In real life, I had left the room by myself to go for a walk, but in the dream Zach insisted that he should come with me.

He refused to let me leave unless he was with me. After arguing for ten minutes about how he doesn't give me enough space, I finally obliged.

We walk out of the room holding hands and in love. 

We're standing in the elevator, leaning on each other, with his arm wrapped around my shoulder humming. He's humming some random guitar riffs to me and smiling widely. 

The elevator stops one floor before we were going to get out, and a tall guy wearing a muscle shirt stepped into the elevator. When the light hit his face I realize that it's Calum, and gasp loudly.

Zach's head snaps up and his eyes narrow at the sight of Calum looking at me. 

Zach yells something about Calum sleeping with me and slams his fist into Calum's incredibly structured jawline. There was a lot of commotion and shouting as I backed into a corner and cowered there.

After a continuous stream of insults and fists being thrown, Calum says, "It's my kid in there anyway."

Zach snarls and says, "You are fucking lying. Brie is carrying my child, idiot."

Calum's face darkens and shouts, "No, it's mine. You need to back off, because she does not love you."

Dream Over

I roll over, gasping for breath. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out what just happened.

Calum notices that I'm awake, and weirdly covered in sweat. 

He concernedly asked, "Did you have a nightmare? Are you okay?"

"I don't really wanna talk about it," I snap. 

"Oh, okay. Do you want to get going then?" he wonders.

"Yeah, I guess so. Where are we going to go to get the test?"

"Oregon." he grumpily sighs.

"What? Why would we do that? Zach might still be there at the motel, sulking or something. I really don't want to chance seeing him," I rapidly spill out.

"You know we have to get some of his DNA for the test right? It'll only work if we have stuff from both of the potential fathers," he explains.

I can practically hear the cringe in his voice. It's almost comical how uncomfortable Zach makes him.

I would laugh, but I can also practically hear my stress levels rising at the thought of having to interact with Zach again. It's been just over two months since we had that horrible fight, where he broke up with me and ended our relationship of four years. 

I have no idea how I'll be able to face him, let alone ask for DNA samples and tell him that I might be pregnant. I can already envision how mad he'll be when he finds out that I am pregnant. I know he will go full on crazy when he finds out that it's probably not even his.

I force myself out of my thoughts and face the cold, hard reality that my life has become. 

If I want to be able to live with Calum, and face him for the rest of my life, I know that I'll have to do this. I won't be able to live with myself, if every day I have to wonder who's child it really is. It's not fair to Calum or Zach if I don't know for sure.

"I can do this," I say, "Lets go before I change my mind, please."

"Okay, but only if you're sure. I don't want you to feel too nervous or anything." 

"I am fine, Calum. I can handle Zach, we dated for four years, that definitely wasn't our first fight."

Calum, as usual, grimaces when he hears of Zach and our stupid relationship.

"Lets go then," he abruptly says and stands up out of the bed. 

I momentarily let myself admire how muscular and toned his back is. Just that, makes me want to stay here and never leave to see Zach.

Calum lets me rest in the bed while he packs up the small amount of stuff we have and collects the scattered clothing from around the room. 

Too soon, its time to leave and see Zach. 

I sigh and walk with Calum to his car. We pull out of the parking lot, just as it starts to rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh this is a piece of shit if you're still reading it.... why


	12. Tear In My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more lame writing !!!!!!!!!!

Brie

We're standing outside the hotel where Zach is supposedly still staying. I feel like I am on the verge of a panic attack, and Calum's arm around me is the only thing that's holding me down.

"You don't have to do this," Calum says.

"I have to. We need to know who's fetus this is," I remind him.

"I could go ask him if you're too nervous," he tries to offer.

"No, Calum. I have to do this. I owe it to him," I insist.

I take a few deep breathes to try to calm my nerves, but don't succeed in any way.

I square my shoulders and try to confidently walk in the doors of the motel. Once inside, I reach into my memory and try to remember what room I was staying in with Zach before I... cheated on him.

I'm pretty sure that we were in room 93. I really hope he's still there, because otherwise I'll have to go on a wild Zach Abels hunt, which is highly unfavorable to me.

I take the elevator, which seems to move at warp speed, taking me closer to Zach.

~

I stand outside the door to the room that Zach is in. Emotions are coursing through me, part of my mind telling me to knock on the door and demand for Zach to take me back.

The other part of me is begging for me to run, and never look back to him.

I remind myself of the promise I made to Calum. I have to do this if I want a shot with him.

Zach

I'm lying in bed, sulking, and hear a faint knock on the door. Checking the time, it looks too early for the cleaning people to come.

I sigh in annoyance and get up, not bothering to put a shirt on. Whoever is knocking this early can't be that important.

My hand unlocks the door and I swing it open and see.... her.

She looks destroyed and exhausted. My heart twinges when I see how much pain she's in.

I did this to her, and I hopelessly regret it. I should've stayed with her, even though she cheated on me. We were together for so long, and that idiot ruined it in one night. I blame myself more than anything for all of this mess.

She shudders when our eyes meet.

"Zach, I..."

"What do you want, Brie?" I angrily demand. I can't let her think that she's forgiven, quite yet.

She looks hesitant and doesn't answer right away. Brie looks down to the floor, fidgeting, and then looks back to me and says, "I'm pregnant."

Her words hit me hard, resonating through my mind, growing louder with each passing second.

Brie is pregnant.

The girl who cheated on me is pregnant.

Brie is pregnant, with my child.

I'm going to be a father.

"Okay," I say, trying to mask my emotions from her, but she knows me too well.

"Zach, I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to happen like this," she says, a tear leaking out of the corner of her left eye.

"How did you want it to happen than?" I ask.

I don't know why I'm being so rude to her, but I can't help it. I'm just so inconceivably mad at her for cheating on me and breaking my heart. I'm so mad at her for hurting me.

"I wanted it to be a decision that we made together, when we were both ready. I wanted us to be in love, and happy. I wanted us to be able to raise a family together, but not like this."

"I wanted that for us too," I say, sadness in my eyes.

"Zach, there's something else I need to tell you," she falters.

"What?"

"It might not be yours."

"What? What do you mean? How could it not be mine?"

Then it hits me, she slept with Calum too.

"You came back just to tell me it might be mine?" I say with so much disappointment.

"I am so sorry. I honestly cannot apologize enough to you. What I did was completely horrible and unspeakable," Brie says, "You didn't deserve that, or any of this, in any way. I thought about you everyday, Zach, just thinking about what I shouldn't have done."

I can tell that she means what she says, but it doesn't matter to me.

"It could be his though, couldn't it?" I harshly ask.

"Uh, possibly, but I will never know if you don't help me. Please, for all those times that I told you I loved you. For every moment we had together. For the child that could be yours. Please," she's practically on her knees begging at this point.

My resolve softens and then disappears.

"Okay," I agree, "Brie, but if it's not mine then I want you to stay away from me. I mean it this time. I will reach out to you, if I, for some awful reason, decide to give you yet another chance," I warn.

"Thanks Zach. Thank you so much," she says.

"You're welcome," I gruffly say, hating this moment more than anything.

"I still love you," Brie says, barely above a whisper.

I just look away, and don't say anything.

She is the tear in my heart.


	13. Sometimes Quiet is Violent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o shit stuff is happening

Brie

Calum, Zach and I are sitting in the waiting room, waiting to get the fetus tested.

I can't think of anything to say to make this better, so we just sit in silence while the tension stretches over us, thick and heavy.

Calum is sitting a few chairs down from me, and can't stop fidgeting. His foot keeps tapping on the ground and he can't keep his gaze in one place.

Zach is across the room from me, staring at the wall above my head. He looks frighteningly placid and calm. I can tell he's mad at me.

I am terrified to find out who the child belongs to. If it's Zach's, well, he said he would at least try, but there are clearly no guarantees with him.

If Calum is the father, I'm not sure what'll happen.

I know that Calum is willing and he wants this, but I just told Zach that I still loved him. My heart is torn in two, I don't know who to chose, or if I even have an option or opinion at this point.

"Calum, Brianna, and Zach..." someone who is probably the doctor calls out.

"Um, yeah, that's us," I tell her.

Zach's expression darkens even more and Calum just appears to be really focused.

I roll my eyes at both of their behaviors.

"Follow me, this way," she beckons us down one of the dimly lit hallways.

A flickering light catches my eye and causes a hot tongue of fear strike through me. Nerves are rolling through me at a constant pace now, and I feel like throwing up.

Calum rubs my back comfortingly and gives me a sad smile.

"Brie, it's okay. Whatever they say, we can handle it," Calum tells me.

Zach looks up from the ground and shoots a death stare towards Calum.

"Don't touch her," Zach warns him, and gives him another intimidating stare.

"Guys, stop it. Grow up or leave, I can do this by myself," I hiss under my breath to them.

Calum gives a pointed look to Zach, but he just looks up at the ceiling, unamused.

We reach the end of the hall and the woman ushers us into one of the small examination rooms.

I guess she isn't the one who'll be doing the test, because she just says, "The doctor will be here in a minute. Thank you for all of your patience."

I'm amazed how stoic Zach looks, even now, after everything I put him through. It was always one of the things I loved about him, how he could endure any hardship and not have to whine or complain about it.

The door opens and a doctor comes in and sits down in one of the rickety plastic chairs and smiles hugely.

"This is going to be great! Who is super excited to find out who the father is?"

None of us show any remote excitement at all, but her smile never falters in the least.

"Okay, anyways... lets get some answers!" she enthusiastically says.

"Great," the three of us mumble, some of us more sarcastic than others.

"So, I'll need to draw some blood from you," she says to me, putting on some latex gloves.

"And you two, will have to provide some DNA samples for me," the doctor tells Zach and Calum.

"What kind of samples do you need?" Calum suspiciously asks.

"It can just be some hair, that'll work just fine for the test," she informs him.

The boys proceed to rip out a few of their hairs without grimacing, probably trying to show off their masculinity.

She takes a small needle out from a drawer and says, "I'm going to draw the blood now from your arm. There will be a small pinch, but it'll be over soon."

"Okay," I say. Calum pats my other arm as she swabs my skin with disinfectant.

The doctor draws some blood from my arm and puts it into a bag to get tested.

"That's all I need from you guys. Your test results will be ready in about a week," the doctor says.

One Week Later

The three of us are in a local coffee shop and I'm holding the results in my hand.

"Just open it already," Calum demands nervously.

"Whatever, just do it," Zach states with the familiar expression of boredom etched across his face.

"Okay, I'm opening it." I look at the results and fear resonates through my head.

I look from the paper to Zach. His eyes meet mine halfway and he knows.

"It's mine, isn't it?" Zach says, his hands quaking.

"Yes."


	14. Don't You Go

Brie

They both look at me, mouths agape.

Zach looks pale and diminished. I feel bad for him, for us. Nothing was supposed to happen this way. I wasn't supposed to cheat on him, and he wasn't supposed to ever stop loving me.

I wish I never cheated on him.

"What do you mean, it's Zach's?" Calum angrily asks. "Let me see."

He quickly snatches the paper out of my shaking hands and rapidly scans the paper, reading all the details.

His face turns ghostly white, and then bright red. "It can't be Zach's," he mutters to himself.

"Calum, I'm sorry," I try.

"It's not your fault," he says, "It's his fault."

He looks so mad that Zach is the father of the child and not him.

He's genuinely sad that the fetus is not his. I knew he was dedicated, but I didn't think he was this involved with it.

"Calum, I- I don't know what to say. I'm sorry," I lamely say to him.

"What about me?" Zach abruptly cuts in, "I was the one who got cheated on!"

"Zach-" I try to cut in.

He doesn't stop ranting, "And now I have a child! I have to be a father!"

"I know, and I am so sorry," I say.

"I never wanted it like this," he turns to me with so much sadness, "Brie, we were supposed to get married and be in love. We should have had years together before we even thought about having a child. I wanted to love you until the end of time."

His words hurt. They make me think of the life we should've had together, before I fucked it all up.

"Zach, I can do this by myself. You deserve better than me and if this isn't what you want, you shouldn't have to deal with it." I try to offer him an out, because that's probably what he wants.

"As much as I hate to say this to you, but I still want to be a decent parent to my child even if it means I have to endure unrelenting torture by being around you," Zach tells me.

"Okay," I softly say.

Calum stands up, pushes in his chair and looks at me with his heart stopping eyes.

"Brie, I meant those things I said to you, and I still do. I really meant it when I told you that I loved you. I want to love you harder than Zach ever did," Calum tells me, completely serious.

"I don't ever wanna stop being with you but now you have Zach's child and things are different. I think I need some space for a while."

He looks deeply lost in thought for a moment. "Maybe I'll go visit Luke in Portland or something. I don't know. I just have to get away from you and have enough time to think it all over. I think you and Zach need some time to figure stuff out together without me here anyways."

"Don't leave yet, Calum."

"I have to. Just don't forget me, please."

"Calum, you don't have to leave completely, just stay nearby for a few weeks until we figure something out," I desperately try to reckon with him.

I can practically sense Zach rolling his eyes behind me.

"I'm sorry, but I think it will be really good for both of us," he says with a lovingly sad smile.

"Let me walk with you to your car, at least," I insist to Calum.

"Zach, I'll be right back. I think we still have lots of things to discuss."

"Yeah, whatever," Zach says.

Calum gently holds my hand once we're outside of the coffee shop. I want the moment to freeze, so he never has to leave me.

Right away, it's over and he's saying, "If he does anything that makes you feel upset or anything at all, just call me. I can come right away if it's important. I'll only be a few hours away." He tells me one last time.

"Don't you go," I try to tell him.

"I have to," he whispers and softly places a lingering kiss on my lips and gets into his car. I watch in tears as he drives away.

My heart is already aching and craving Calum.

I let myself feel bad for a few more seconds before turning around and walking back into the warm building and sit back down across from Zach.

"I want to try again," Zach tells me.

"Me too."

"I don't know how to."

"Me either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol u have no idea how much i hate myself


	15. Where'd You Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to shoot myself

Brie

Zach and I have been doing better, without Calum around. We're both making an effort to get along. I know that Zach is holding himself back from letting all his emotions flood out like an open dam.

I try to be as nice as possible to him, not wanting to give him any reason to hate me more than he already does.

The whole experience of being pregnant with Zach's kid is its own special kind of torture. I can't honestly say that I am happy that it's Zach's.

There are points when I wish it was Calum's child instead. I wouldn't have to put up with constant sulking from Zach if it belonged to Calum.

Calum would be the kind of guy to make being pregnant fun. If he was here, we would always be cuddling and he would rub my back and tell me that I'm doing such a good job taking care of the child.

But Calum isn't here.

I'm supposed be in love with Zach.

Some nights, when Zach is asleep, I start to cry. I just lie in that bed with him, and let the tears openly cascade down my face. Zach never notices. He probably doesn't care either way.

I cry for hours each and every night, just thinking of what Calum would do if he was here in place of Zach.

I want to run to him. I would run a thousand miles, just to say one last thing to Calum.

Zach is just a ghost of who he used to be. Before he was so loving and affectionate to me, but now he barely speaks to me and can't even look me in the eye. I wonder what happened to the soul that he used to be.

I hope that Calum still thinks about me sometimes.

I miss everything about him. I miss his smell, his taste, and everything in between. A few weeks was not enough for us. We should've had more.

We were meant to spend the rest of eternity together.

Flashback

I open my eyes and look at the pregnancy test.

It's positive.

I'm pregnant.

At first, I panic.

I hope the test is wrong.

If it's right, I hope the father is Calum, not Zach.

I really hope the father isn't Zach.

Flashback Over

It's scary to look back and remember just a few months ago when I had those same hopes and dreams about Zach, instead of Calum.

When I was dating Zach, I used to plan out our entire life. I would dream about how we would spend the rest of our lives together. We would be happy, and we would love each other. Nothing would ever separate us.

Nothing is the same.

I whisper into the darkness, "I miss you."

Luke Hemmings

I'm eating dinner with my amazing girlfriend, Gina, when someone bangs on the door of our apartment.

"I'll grab it," I sigh to Gina.

I wipe my mouth with a napkin and walk to the door, opening it, I see Calum standing there.

He looks thoroughly destroyed and incredibly sad.

"Calum, what the fuck happened to you?" I ask him.

From the kitchen Gina calls out, "Luke, who's at the door?"

Calum slowly wanders into the room where we were just eating and says to Gina, "Oh, hey Gina."

He leaves the kitchen, beckoning for me to follow him.

"Uh, I thought you were dating Arzaylea and you and Gina were just friends?" Calum asks looking extremely perplexed.

"I don't really know what happened," I start, "One day I just didn't like Arzaylea anymore and realized that I was in love with Gina. A lot has happened in the past few weeks, man," I tell him. "Where have you been anyways? I haven't heard from you since you went to Idaho looking for that Brianna girl."

"Some pretty fucked up stuff happened Luke, and I don't know what to do. I still love her, but she's pregnant with someone else's kid," Calum tells me in a rushed out breath.

Calum proceeds to explain how when he went to see Brie in Idaho it turned out that she was, in fact, pregnant.

At first Calum thought it was his fetus Brie was carrying, but it actually turned out to be Zach's. Of course, Calum was super heartbroken and sad about this. Apparently he is totally in love with Brie and even wanted to father her children. If you ask me, I think it's kinda weird how Calum wants to be a dad even though he's only nineteen and stuff.

"What are you guys doing out here?" Gina says, interrupting Calum's depressing sob story.

"Calum was just explaining how your friend Brie just broke his heart by not having his child. So sad." I say and start to mildly question Calum's sanity.

"Does Brie even know that you're here?" Gina asks Calum.

"Yes... well kind of. I told her I might come visit Luke, but I guess I'll go somewhere else. I didn't know you guys were living together and stuff now." He awkwardly tells Gina.

"Yeah. I guess it was pretty sudden." I say with a happy laugh and then look down at Gina and radiate all my adoration at her.

She just shakes her head and gives me her signature judgmental face, but I can still tell that she's exploding with happiness.

I can't believe how long it took me to realize how amazing Gina really is.

I see Calum rolling his eyes in the background, "Okay... I will be leaving now."

I can hear the obvious discomfort in his voice when he notices how romantic Gina and I are being.

"Sorry Calum," I chuckle, "It was great to see you."

"Yeah, you too. I think I'm gonna hang out with Michael so that Malum can be reunited after weeks apart!" He dramatically sighs.

"Okay. Don't mope around too much, I'm sure it's not as big of a deal as it seems."

He shakes his head and walks out the apartment, shutting the door behind him.

"That was really intense," Gina says.

"There are few things more intense than a depressed Calum," I say to her with a smile and softly press my lips to hers.

I really love Gina.


	16. I Regret It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow omg the name of the chapter perfectly captures how i feel about this entire fanfic!1!!1

Calum

I'm quick to flee Luke's place as soon as I'm aware how into it he and Gina are. I didn't realize how serious their relationship was. I didn't even know they were dating! I missed so much in those few weeks I spent with Brie.

I just grabbed my keys and drove away in desperate search of Michael, who is probably the only person who can save me at this point.

~

I knock once before just letting myself into his apartment. Michael walks into the entranceway, holding a bag of chips and smiling.

Michael takes one look at my tear-stained face and bursts into laughter, "Did she break your heart Calum?"

"Yes, Michael, she fucking broke my heart. She broke every single piece of me. I loved and love her, but she is pregnant with fucking Zach Abels kid."

Michael looks confused, "Who is Zach Abels?"

"This idiot guitarist from an indie band called The Neighbourhood."

He laughs, "Never heard of them, must not be very good."

I ignore him, "Dude, I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to be with her when she is raising a child with another man?"

"Okay Calum, you need to calm down bro," Michael laughs at me.

"I can't. The pain of constantly missing her is driving me insane. I want her so badly and I hurt all the time," I say.

"You really need to escape this torture before you kill someone or something. Let's go to Walmart and buy lots of beer," he suggests and looks really pleased with his genius idea.

"I guess that sounds good," I agree and aggressively wipe away the oncoming tears.

I don't want to be sad anymore but it seems inevitable for me.

Brie

I wake up in the middle of the night in a pool of blood and scream in fear and horror.

What's happening to me?

Zach sits up and grabs my hands, forcing me to look at him. "Brie, what's wrong?" he asks with concern clearly etched across his handsome face.

"I- I think I'm having a miscarriage," I cry out in agony.

"Shit." He looks down at the growing pool of blood on the sheets.

"Okay, we have to go to the hospital, right now," he tells me.

Zach carefully picks me up and carries me out of the hotel and into the car, comforting me the entire time.

He puts me down in the passenger seat and says, "Don't worry we'll be there soon. I love you Brie."

He hasn't said those three words since I cheated on him.

He starts driving incredibly fast and I grow more anxious and nervous by the second.

"Zach, slow down before you kill us both."

I gasp when another wave of pain rips through me.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

Zach rapidly slows down and holds my hand in a death grip. He tries to calm me down by harshly rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, but I am beyond comfort and help.

The exhaustion starts painfully hitting me as we pull to a stop in the parking lot. Zach helps me out and half carries me into the hospital. Even in the pale, flickering light I can see how worried he really is.

"Don't worry, Zach, we will be completely fine, just wait, it'll all be okay in the end." I try to assure him and myself at the same time.

Once we are inside the hospital, he goes to the reception and shouts, "My girlfriend is having a miscarriage. We need help, now."

A woman wearing a lab coat takes my arm and guides me to an examination room and motions for me to sit down on the paper covered bed-thing.

"It'll just be a minute before the doctor is with you," she says and pats my hand.

"Brie, I am so sorry for everything. I should have never said any of those terrible things to you. I didn't mean any of it. I was just blinded by how much I loved you," Zach tells me, his eyes slightly misty.

He wraps me in a gentle hug and kisses my lips.

"I'm sorry too," I tell him.

~

The obstetrician comes in and closes the door behind her with a dull thud.

She solemnly examines me, worry creasing between her eyebrows.

She slowly removes her latex gloves and takes my hand. "I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do at this point."

"Is this it? My pregnancy is over?"

"Yes. Again, I am very sorry."

I take a shuddering breath and more tears escape my eyes.

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you need to. I'll check back in soon. I am so sorry for you loss, Brie and Zach," she tells us and then slips out with a sad smile.

I completely break down and sob into Zach's chest.

"Why did this happen to me? Hasn't enough shitty stuff already happened to us by now? What did I do to deserve this?" I say during my torrential crying.

Zach says nothing and just continues to rub my back and kiss the top of my head and mutters about how sorry he is, for everything.

I didn't want this child before, but now I'm destroyed after losing it.

What changed?


	17. It's Three in the Morning and I'm Trying to Change Your Mind

Brie

"Okay, we're here," Zach says when we pull into the parking lot of the hotel that we're staying at.

He goes around the front of the car and opens my door for me, helping me out of the car. I lean on him heavily for support, feeling weaker than I've ever felt before.

Zach and I walk into our hotel room together, him practically carrying me at this point.

His sadness is consuming me, eating me alive. It's like an inescapable fog, turning everything else into oblivious grey space. He is nowhere near as sad as me though, my sadness is a raging hurricane, destroying every happy thought and idea in its wake. There is nothing left but darkness in our world.

I don't think I'll ever be happy again.

"Zach, take my shirt off," I say, in a completely non-sexual tone.

I'm honestly too tired and in pain to do anything myself. I feel like I cannot function properly anymore. My limbs and brain are no longer connected, the only emotion that is left in this planet is sadness, and maybe despair.

"Should I take your pants off too?" he asks, willing to do pretty much anything I could possibly ask of him.

I can't remember the last time he was this helpful and dedicated to me. Probably a few months ago, before I cheated on him.

I feel like I'm drowning. I can't believe I cheated on him. No one is more special or worth it than Zach. No one will ever be able to match the amount of love he has for me.

"Just take everything off," I tell him, the tiredness wearing thinly through my hollow voice.

"Okay."

For someone who was so emotionless before, he is sure sad about this loss.

He helps me out of my blood-stained clothes and slips one of his over-sized batman shirts over my shaking frame.

"Thank you, Zach, for everything," I murmur as I crawl into the warm bed.

"Please don't thank me, for anything at all. This is all my fault. Everything is. I'm so sorry," Zach sadly says with a frown.

I can't stand the thought of him blaming himself. This definitely wasn't his fault, I was the one who made the stupid decision to cheat on him while he begged me not to. It wasn't worth it in any way. Calum isn't worth it.

"It's okay, even if I'm not, I promise," I tell him, "I just want you to hold me while I'm sad."

"Brie- okay." He looks hesitant for some reason, but I can't quite decipher it.

"Zach, what's wrong?" I ask, having to know.

"I don't know. Nothing. Don't worry about it, Brie."

"It's okay, you can tell me."

"It's just- I was the one who got you pregnant," he says.

I don't understand what he's saying. Of course he was the one who got me pregnant.

"Zach, I don't understand."

He's silent for a few minutes.

"I guess I'm just thinking about how this might've not happened if Calum was the father. Maybe it's my shitty genes or something. Maybe I put too much stress on you and the child."

"Zach, no. This is in no way, your fault."

"I know, it just feels like it. Calum would've been a better dad than me anyways.

"Please don't blame yourself, Zach. This isn't anyone's fault. It's just one of those things that happens."

"I can't help it, I feel so guilty," he says.

I sigh, running my hands through his hair. "Let's go to sleep."

He lies down and wraps his arms around me and never stops whispering about how sorry he is and how much he loves me.

I fall asleep with Zach's tear-stained body around me, for the first time in so many months.

I fall asleep and release myself into the torturous nightmares of Calum Hood.

Calum

I'm sitting in the passenger seat of Michael's car, crossing my fingers that I won't die. His driving is exceedingly terrible.

How the hell did he pass his test?

"Michael, what the hell are you doing? Learn to drive!" I yell at him over the extremely loud trap music he is playing.

I hazily wonder why we are listening to fucking trap music, but my sadness prevents me from considering it further than that.

After the death defying drive, Michael and I are wandering the aisles of Walmart looking for beer and chips.

"Dude, how much beer should we buy?" he asks me.

"As much as we can carry," I tell him, my voice barely a whisper above my raging thoughts.

"Good idea bro," he nods approvingly.

We pay for our beer and chips and are in the dimly lit parking lot of Walmart, when we are approached by a girl with grey/silver hair and Halsey.

"I have legal marijuana guys," the girl with silver hair randomly says to us.

"What? Why?" I ask at the same time Michael says, "Awesome! Let's smoke weed!"

"Yeah!" The girl with silver hair enthusiastically cheers.

"Yeah, because, we are the new Americana, and we wanna get high on legal marijuana with you guys," Halsey casually informs us with an irresistible smile.

Michael turns to me with excitement in his mesmerizing eyes, "Calum! This is literally the best way for you not to be sad anymore!"

"No, Michael, drugs are bad," I sternly tell him, in my most forceful daddy voice.

He gives me a long meaningful look and I cave, "Okay, bro. But only this one time."

Michael cheers and holds his palm out for a high five. I sigh but start to feel slightly better already. Maybe he was actually right about something for once.

"My name is Katie by the way," the girl mentions to us and throws a smile at Michael.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

Hours Later

It's about 3 AM and we are still hanging out in the Walmart parking lot even though it closed hours ago. The drugs had kept the sadness at bay for a while but now I feel it piercing back through the veil the marijuana had created.

I'm suddenly anxious to talk to Brie, to see if she still loves me or something, I don't know.

I struggle to pull my phone out of my tight skinny jeans, the same jeans that Brie had once said she really liked. I hold the phone up to my ear while watching Michael and Katie passionately flirt with each other. After a minute I hear noise on the other side, but I don't think it's Brie's voice.

"Is this Brie?" I ask and start to panic.

"No, this is not Brie," the voice sullenly says. My hand twitches and clenches into a fist when I realize that it's Zach's voice.

What the fuck is he doing with Brie's phone?

"Dude, let me talk to Brie," I say, letting the agitation edge through my voice.

"Calum, are you fucking high right now?"

"Uh.. kinda. I guess so."

"Brie just had a fucking miscarriage, Calum, and you're out smoking weed. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you even understand how upset she is right now?"

"What? She had a miscarriage?" I ask, confused.

"Yes she did, asshole. Don't call us again. We don't want anything to do with you and all your idiot friends. Also, your band is terrible and all your songs are stupid."

He aggressively hangs up and I sit there with the phone in my hand in a state of stupor and sadness.

"Michael, I have to go. Give me the keys."

He giggles and works the keys out of his equally skinny jeans.

"Don't drink and drive, bro."


	18. Kiss the Pain Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dslfgasd;fjsadlg fuck i hate dfoasdofgas

Calum

I fumble with Michael's keys, almost unsure how to use them. I struggle to think logically with my mind so severely addled, it's clouded and filled with a dark, stormy haze. I'm not known to handle bad news well, and this time is no different, the brunt of it filling me with horrible despair. Zach sounded so despondent over the phone, yet so ready to berate me, as if this is my fault.

It can't be though.

Can it?

I barely make it out of the parking lot unscathed, my hands are shaking that badly.

Thoughts and ideas are sporadically pulsing within my head, causing my driving skills to plummet. My car jerks around, weaving in and out of the lanes on the highway. Horns blare at me, and it's a miracle I don't get pulled over or crash.

There's no way anyone can expect me to drive properly, with this much going on.

Halfway through the drive, it hits me.

My driving is as bad as Michael's.

~

I pause before getting out of the car. What if Brie doesn't want me here? What if it's really all my fault?

I throw my suspicions and doubts away. Checking on Brie and making sure she's okay is more important than what she and Zach think of me.

I stumble out of the car, my feet making jarring contact with the ground. I beg my mind to let me focus, at least for a few minutes. Staggering toward the hotel, I try to recall what room they are in. I can't quite latch onto the memory.

Inside the building, I catch the eye of the receptionist working in the lobby.

I awkwardly cough, not knowing how to ask her where they're staying without seeming creepy.

"Uh, excuse me."

She placidly looks up from the computer. "How may I help you?"

"I was wondering where my friends, Brie and Zach, are staying. Like, what room number?"

"I'm not really supposed to tell you that information, sorry," she says.

"Oh, okay." I go to move away from the desk, thinking that I'll figure it out on my own, but stop. It'll take me ages to find what room they are staying in. I have to somehow get it out of her.

"Look, you can trust me. I've been here before, I just can't remember what room they're in," I plead, letting my eyes do all the work.

She sighs, "Fine, but there better not be any trouble."

I gasp in relief. "Thank you so much."

"What did you say their names were?"

"Brie and Zach Abels," I tell her, realizing that I don't know what Brie's last name is. I make a mental note to ask her once everything has calmed down a bit.

She clicks on the screen a few times, bringing up their reservation. "Okay, their in room 93. It's on the second floor."

I smile at her. "Thanks again."

She nods, going back to her work.

I take the stairs, practically sprinting up. I quickly scan over the room numbers, my eyes searching for the number 93.

I see it and make a beeline for it, my fist pounding on the door urgently.

Zach answers, not looking happy at all.

"Calum, what the fuck are you doing here? Leave. She doesn't want you anymore," he spits in disgust.

"Dude, just let me talk to Brie," I say angrily. My magical eye-charming powers aren't going to work on Zach.

He rolls his eyes at me, almost pitying me in my dilapidated state.

"No, definitely not. Why would I let you talk to her when you are fucking stoned? Idiot," he scoffs. He goes to slam the door but I hold it open with my muscular body.

I peek over Zach's head, using my height to my advantage. I see sudden movement in the dark room. It looks like Brie is starting to stir in her slumber.

I feel terrible for waking her up, she probably needs her rest after that catastrophic event. I need to talk to her though, I need to tell her it'll be alright.

I shove open the door and barrel past Zach, coming to a stop at the foot of the bed. I sink down into the mattress and brush some hair off of Brie's delicate face.

She slowly awakes, her brown eyes focusing on mine.

"Brie, I am so, so sorry. I didn't want this to happen to you-" I can't remember what I was going to say next.

"Uh- are you okay?" I hesitantly ask.

My senses are greatly dulled and I start to forget why I came here.

I sense Brie's mood shift, going from sleepy and sad to angry and annoyed.

Her eyes narrow, brows creasing in an adorable manner. "Are you high?"

"Uh-yeah. I guess I am. It was pretty sick. You know your friend Katie?"

"Yes I remember Katie," she angrily snaps.

"Yeah, so Michael and I were at Walmart, and then Katie was there with Halsey and they had drugs!" I excitedly telling her, entirely forgetting about her miscarriage and my concerns for her health.

Zach comes up behind me, placing a warning hand on my shoulder.

"Okay, Calum, Brie had a really shitty day. I think you need to leave and give us some space to grieve our loss," he says, making it clear that I'm not, and will never be involved with the child.

Brie's expression softens, maybe she's feeling sympathetic today.

"Zach, it's fine. Just wait in the hallway for a minute so I can clearly talk to Calum," she tells him.

Brie is so great to me.

He sighs. "Fine," he gives me a pointed look, "I don't want you in here for more than five minutes, or I'm coming to get you."

He leaves the small room and closes the door behind him, enveloping us in complete darkness.

Her expression changes again, she looks incredibly mad now. Looking directly at me, she slaps my cheek. I gasp, bringing a hand to my throbbing face. Tomorrow there will surely be a red mark across my previously unmarred face.

"What was that for?" I ask, truly unsure as to what I did.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I had a miscarriage and the first thing you do is start doing drugs with my friends!"

She looks angry but her expression morphs into despair when she says, "I can't believe you left me here. I wanted you to fight to stay with me, to not give into Zach. I wanted you to stay with me, but you fucking left me alone and then this horrible thing happened and you weren't there for me when I needed you."

Brie small shoulders start to shake as she begins to cry again.

My body takes over and I experience the inescapable urge to kiss her pain away. I giggle, that was almost a Backseat Serenade reference. I move closer to her and kiss her softly in the gloom.

I can taste the dried salt on her lips from her fallen tears and want to cure her sadness so badly.

Brie

Even though I know Zach is right outside the door, I still stupidly decide to kiss Calum back. I can never resist the temptation when I'm alone with him. I deepen the kiss and can taste the drugs on his tongue and in his mouth. I weave my fingers into his hair, tugging at it roughly, causing him to moan into my mouth.

"I missed you so much," he whispers, sending chills down my spin and moving his lips down to my neck.

His hands trail down my sides, coming to a rest at the hem of my shirt. I nod, giving him permission, even if Zach is right outside.

He tugs off my shirt, his eyes widening as he looks at my bare chest.

Calum peppers kisses along my collarbone, his lips electrifying my skin.

I splay my fingers across the mark I left on his face when I slapped him. "Sorry about that," I whisper.

He smirks, "I guess I'll have to leave a few marks on you to make up for it."

Whimpering, I nod.

He attaches his plump lips to my neck, sucking lightly and leaving a dark hickey against my skin. Accidentally, a loud groan emitts from my throat.

I know exactly what is going to happen now.

"Dammit Calum." I mutter and shove him off of me as the door creaks open.

Zach rushes into the room, his eyes wildly flashing. He looks ready to kill Calum on the spot.

I try to plead with him before he does something irrational.

"Zach, calm down. It's my fault. Please don't hurt Calum. I'm sorry."

"Everything's your fault," he growls and raises his fist to Calum's stoned face, "Fuck you, Calum."

Calum doesn't even defend himself. He raises his palms, but just lets Zach continously attack, debilitating his body and soul.

I cry out for Zach to stop as he pounds his fist into Calum's perfect face, over and over. Calum has no chance against Zach. In his few feeble attempts to fight back, Calum is barely able to touch Zach, let alone hurt him. Zach's anger is dry wood in the fire of his rage, only building the flame higher, making him angrier by the second.

I cover my ears to block out the sickening sound of Calum's flesh being ground into pulp. I don't want to hear the crunch of bone when Zach breaks his jaw and nose.

There's nothing I can do except stand there, transfixed by Zach's manic rage.

Zach yanks Calum to his feet, only to shove him to the ground, pinning him with his knees.

I have to do something.

Swallowing my fear, I step forwards, unsure how to stop the madness before me.

"Zach!" I try to divert his attention from Calum, but he doesn't even glance away from Calum's bloodied face. I try again, this time grabbing Zach's bicep and pulling him away from Calum. "Zach, stop."

He looks astounded at what he just did, perhaps unaware of the strength he possesses.

"You need to walk away, now."

He doesn't know what to do, torn between staying and trying to right his actions and leaving forever.

"Go," I urge him. In the moment, I hate him, but at the same time, I don't want him to face charges.

He gives me one last long look, his eyes strangely unreadable. He glances down to his bruised knuckles, and past them, to Calum lying on the floor. Without another word, he goes, leaving a catastrophe in his wake.

I let myself count to ten. One, two, three.... I should call 911, a voice tells me from the back of my head.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"My-my boyfriend is bleeding a lot and I think he's been unconscious for a few minutes. Please, help," I beg them.

A tidal wave of nausea crashes into me, knocking the air out of my lungs. I try to assess the damage. His nose and jaw are definitely broken, I heard it happen. His skin, it's unrecognizable. Once smooth and flawless, it's now a seething mass of tattered skin and black-red blood.

The operator assures me there will be help soon and ends the call. I drop to my knees beside Calum.

"I'm so sorry, Calum."

I lose all hope of staying calm. Sobbing loudly, I cradle his head to my chest, knowing there's nothing more I can do for him.


	19. Alex Turner

Brie 

I decide that I need to go home, I have been stuck in between Oregon and Idaho for too long. I had stayed by Calum's hospital bed for almost a week, just holding his hand a reassuring him that it will all be okay. He was pretty badly injured at Zach's fault. When he was sleeping I would kiss his forehead and whisper that I loved him. When I got back to the hotel in the evenings, I would think about Zach and become completely infuriated. In the quiet of the room I could almost hear the blood boiling in my veins, the burning rage never ceasing in the slightest.

I'm now in my hotel room, the room I had shared with both Zach and Calum at different points during these past few months, packing. Even though I was happily getting ready to leave it felt like everything I did had a brutal memory attached to it. I threw a tear-stained shirt into my suitcase and was harshly reminded of the night I had a miscarriage and how good it felt when Zach held me as I cried through the night. I pick up a pair of shorts and am hit with the memory of Calum tearing them off of my body the first night here, the night when I cheated on Zach. There is no escape.

I finally wheel my overladen suitcase down the carpeted hallway and see that stupid pile of bricks that is still there, in the middle of the fucking hallway. I can still clearly feel the satisfaction of hitting Zach with the brick and can still taste Calum's deliciously salty neck when I licked it. I almost wish Zach was here right now, because I really want to hit him with a brick again. I shake off the memories and check out of the hotel and throw my suitcase in the trunk of Zach's car. I kinda wonder where Zach is right now, I haven't seen him since he brutally fought Calum last week.

I make one last stop before I get on the highway. I want to check on Calum before I leave.

"Hey," I say and carefully stroke his hair as he wakes up to my voice.

"Are you leaving today, Brie?" he solemnly asks.

"Yeah, I have to get out of here. We'll see each other soon though, don't worry. I asked the doctor and she said you'll be able to drive home by yourself in a few days. We can figure it all out once we're back in Port Moody together," I promise him.

"Okay," he says.

I cringe at how dejected his voice sounds and how his usually bright eyes are dull and sad. I wish Zach didn't have to be such a bad guy all the time.

"Bye," I sadly tell him, a tear leaking out the corner of my left eye.

I lower my head so he can kiss my forehead and then I softly caress his cheek and whisper, "I love you, Calum."

"Be careful, I'll see you soon," he tells me.

I walk out of the room and immediately the sadness crushes me, knocking the breath out of my chest. I can't believe I just left Calum, alone and injured. I want to run back in there and stay by his side forever. I have to sternly remind myself that it's only temporary and I'll see him in a few days. I know I would only be injuring my already tortured soul more by staying here anyways. I have too many thoughts when I am alone.

I am entering the city limits of Port Moody when I realize that I have no where to go. I obviously can't stay with my parents while I'm in this state. I shudder at the thought of all the unwanted questions about Zach and Calum and everything else I have recently fucked up. I pull over and decide to call Jinny, one of my best friends I kind of lost contact with a few months ago, but I know I will still be able to trust her with all of my problems. The last time I talked to her she had just found out that she was pregnant but wouldn't tell me who the father was. I pull my phone out of my bag and find her contact, quietly laughing her old contact picture.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Jinny, it's Brie," I tell her.

"Oh, okay..." her voice trails off.

"Uh, I am having a extremely stupid problem and I really need your help," I inform her.

"Well, I moved to Vancouver with Alex a few months ago.."

I cut her off, "Wait, like Alex Turner? The guy you were so passionately and irrevocably in love with in high school?"

"Um, yes. It's a long story. Why don't you meet me somewhere in Vancouver and we can talk about all the shitty things that have happened to us in the past year?"

"Sounds good," I almost say 'sounds good, feels good,' but catch myself in time. I can't let myself break down again over Calum. I need to keep moving forwards.

I arrive in downtown Vancouver and text Jinny, asking her where she wants to meet. She tells me to just come over to her apartment, because she is watching her child and doesn't want to leave the house.

I didn't even realize Jinny would have kept the fetus.

I knock on the door of the apartment Jinny said to go to. When the door opens I am semi-shocked to see Alex Turner open the door and let me in.

"Who are'a?" Alex asks looking puzzled... stuck on the puzzle.

"Uh, I'm Brie. Jinny said I could stay with you guys for a while," I let him know.

"Okay. Are you okay?" he asks when he sees my everlastingly sad expression.

"Yeah, I just need to talk to Jinny."

"Do you want a cigarette or something?" he offers.

"No thanks. I am no longer grunge Tumblr," I kind of laugh, remembering my middle school grunge phase.

I walk into the living room-type area and see Jinny playing with her son. I almost collapse and crumble to pieces when I realize I could have had a son like that. Zach and I could have been happily in love with our child, but now all of that is gone. Maybe we would have been in our own apartment right now, holding our own soon and laughing together. Maybe we would have been happy. I try to push the dark thoughts away and focus on how happy I am to see Jinny again.

"Is this your son, Jinny?" I ask.

"Yes, this is Max," she proudly tells me.

Max reaches for me with one of his tiny hands and looks at me. I gasp when I see his eyes. He has the exact same eyes as my childhood forest friend.

"Jinny."

"Yeah."

"Is this Brodie's child?" I ask.

Her face looks conflicted for a moment but then she looks up and slowly nods and says, "You know those rumours Zach was always spreading about me and Brodie doing things together?"

I cringe when I hear Zach's name but nod.

"They were, um, true, and this is the result," Jinny tells me.

Alex laughs from behind me and says, "That fucking wank."


	20. I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a good song why would i use it as a title for a shitty fanfic???? what was i thinking last year???? why???

Brie

I decided to stay in Jinny's spare bedroom that night, partly because I was tired, but mostly because I wanted to hear the whole story about how she got pregnant with Brodie's child. I was emotionally and physically tired but still decided to stay up really late texting Calum. I had only been away from him for 12 hours but it still felt like a piece of my soul was missing. I put down my phone for a minute to consider what to do about Zach. I really didn't want that asshole to be in any part of my life, but I kind of owed it to him to at least check on him. I sighed and called him, sort of already regretting it. It rang a few times before he answered. 

"Brie?" he softly said.

"Zach, are you fucking serious?" 

"Brie! I'm sorry! I really regret hurting Calum, I know I shouldn't have done it. I wished it didn't happen the second I left that room. I was just so jealous of Calum. When I came into the room and saw him on top of you with his mouth on your neck the jealously just crashed over me and flooded my vision, I couldn't think of anything except for the destruction of him. I wanted him to never be able to touch you again. I wanted to break his face and all his fingers. In that dark moment I wanted him to cease to exist. But not anymore, I swear," he rushes all his words out in a single breath. 

"Zach, chill, it's okay," I tell him. 

"What? Really? But is Calum okay?" he quickly asks. 

"He's fine for now Zach, but you really could have hurt him, especially if I didn't stop you when I did." A shiver rolls down my spine when I think of all the fatal things that could have happened to Calum. 

"I can't forgive myself, Brie. I feel terrible all the time. I just keep seeing his broken face and soul as I repeatedly punched his face. His face is undeserving of that torture," Zach confesses. 

"Honestly, Zach, you do deserve to feel bad. You deserve to lie awake at night while your past mistakes eat you alive. You deserve every horrible feeling that is relevant, and more," I destructively tell him. 

"You're right, I just wish there was something I could do," he sighs. 

"I don't think Calum ever wants to see you again, Zach," I warn, " I mean it, you need to give him space." 

"I know, but I just feel like I need to do something," he woefully says. 

My heart starts to cave at his suffering, "Zach..." I pause, thinking about what I really want to say. 

"What?" 

"Maybe... You can come back to Port Moody. You can talk to your parents and friends, you know, figure some stuff out. We both fucked up a lot these past three months," I start to say. 

"Are you asking me to come be with you again?" he demands. 

"I don't know, Zach. Maybe we should just stick together as friends for now, it might be better for both of us. Plus, I am so invested in Calum right now." 

"Okay, I guess that would be good," he sighs. 

A moment passes where neither of us speaks, all I can hear is his ragged breathing. I close my eyes. 

"I miss you," he tells me in barely a whisper. 

I let out a breath slowly, my lungs ache and I want to cry. I stare out the dirty window at the city and wish my life was different. 

"Brie? Are you still there?" 

I take one more deep breath, savoring his voice in the darkness. I slowly hang up just as the tears start to seep out of my eyes. 

I don't know how long I lie there, with my thoughts consuming me from the inside out. I know it must be well past midnight at this point, but I can't get my limbs to move, the sadness seems to have taken over my mind. Eventually I hear a soft knock at the door and hear feet shuffling in the hallway. 

"Brie, are you still awake?" Jinny whispers, trying to be quiet enough not to wake up her son. 

I just sniff in response and whip away as many tears as I can. 

"Are you okay?" 

"I'm not okay." 

"Do you promise?" she asks with the signature Jinny laugh that is still inked in my brain, even after months apart.

"I promise."

I start to feel comforted by Jinnys' presence and relax slightly, my raging war of emotions finally starting to end. I even manage to weakly smile at her. 

"Dude, you are really upset about this aren't you?" she wonders. 

"Yeah, I guess I just don't know what to do," I trail off, "But I don't wanna talk about it. Tell me about the whole Brodie and Alex thing!" 

~Jinnys' Point of View~ 

"Okay, so you remember Brodie from high school right?" I start. 

"Yes, and from middle school, and elementary school, and preschool," she deadpans. 

"So, then you remember how your... boyfriend? Zach? Spread those rumors then right?" 

"He's not my boyfriend, Jinny. It seems I am actually single for the first time since I was fifteen," Brie sighs. 

I think back to the first few weeks of grade nine when Zach had walked in on Brodie and I doing things in the boys change room and slightly cringe. I still have a vivid memory of Zach laughing loudly at the sight of me on my knees in front of him. Zach, for some reason, had thought it would be a great idea to casually tell most of the grade nine population about this event. The teasing and giggling in the hallway never let up until almost the end of grade ten, when Brodie and I had finally figured out how to keep our relationship a semi-secret. I mean, my friend Olenna always knew about it. I don't think its possible to keep those type of secrets from Olenna honestly.

"Well, we kept doing those same, uh, activities, until I kinda ended up pregnant." 

"I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT WAS BRODIE," she suddenly shouts. 

I cringe when I hear his name, I actually haven't spoken to him since I found out I was pregnant. I just stopped talking to him completely, he never found out I was pregnant. I only told a few of my closest friends, I never even told my parents. I just finished school as quietly as I could and then moved to Vancouver to have my child. I think the turning point in my life was really the night I met Alex Turner. 

~Flashback to meeting Alex in a bar~ 

I'm sitting in the corner of some bar in Vancouver waiting for my best friend, Dylan, to show up. I sigh and check my phone again, wondering where he is. I can't be out too late, because Natalie is watching my son, Max, at home. Just as I'm about to give up, feeling annoyed with Dylan for ditching me, a elusively handsome man comes in the door. I stare at him and sink back into my seat, feeling breathless already. There is something distinctively magnetizing about him, I'm not sure if its his distinctively gelled hair or his dark blue leather jacket, but something makes me compelled to talk to him. Then I gasp loudly as it hits me, the man now directly in front of me is Alex Turner. I didn't realize how attractive he was now. I haven't googled a picture of him since I started, um, doing stuff with Brodie. But now, it all rushes back to me, I mean, this is Alex Turner, this isn't a piece of trash like Dylan. Alex seductively lowers himself onto the chair and runs a hand through his perfectly slicked back hair. He looks me directly in the eyes and I almost pass out at his intense eye contact. 

"You alone?" he asks me. 

"Yeah, my idiot friend decided not to show up," I sigh but can't get the smile off my face now that I am actually talking to Alex. 

"That's a strong drink ya have there," he comments. 

I laugh, he is exactly how I dreamed he was. 

"I guess so, it's kinda my one night where I don't have to do mom things," I tell him, unsure why I am sharing all this information with him. 

Soon enough Alex and I have both had several drinks and have been laughing together for hours. I never knew that Alex was this chill about everything, he is literally the most perfect guy to talk to and spend countless hours with. 

"Want another?" Alex gestures to my empty glass. 

"Nah, I should get home, to my son," I tell him, sad that the night was already ending. I was in a utopia that I never wanted to leave, as long as he's here. 

"I wanna meet this kid now," Alex tells me. 

"You should," I say, kind of surprised he wants to meet my kid already, "We need to meet up again soon." 

He quickly finishes off his drink and helps me put my coat on.

"I think I may decide to stay in this city for awhile," he tells me. 

"Really? Why?" I ask. 

"I want to meet your son, Jinny." 

"Um, okay," I say, wondering why he is so enthusiastic to meet my son. 

We are outside in the brisk January air now. He kisses me on my cheek and bids me good bye, leaving me in a starstruck daze. 

"Fuck," I say to myself, "I just fucking met Alex Turner." 

~Back to present time with Brie~

"Yeah, so, that's how I met Alex Turner."

"Wow, otp."


	21. Stop Fucking Around With My Emotions

~Bries' Point of View~

I wake up in the middle of the night with my head pounding and my body covered in a thin layer of cold sweat. I wildly look around the unfamiliarly grimy room I'm staying in. I force myself to calm down, breathing in and out and then slowly counting to ten. I try to rid myself of the eerie vibe that the room is saturated with, but can't clear the harrowing images from my head. I hate myself for giving in to the terror that presents itself every night. Ever since the night of Calums' destruction I have been tormented with ruthless ideas and images.

I know I should do something about it, but I can't tell anyone, I can't risk either Zach or Calum knowing they hurt me beyond relief.

I vacate the room, hoping that the graphic hallucinations are left behind.

I collapse on the floor of Jinny's living room space, pulling my knees up to my chest, shuddering as the breeze from an open window faintly brushes against my clammy skin.

I jump when I hear a door creaking behind me and whirl around to see Alex rubbing his beautiful brown eyes and running a hand through his rumpled hair. Our eyes lock for a moment and the time stretches out, both of us searching for a plausible reason to be awake and traumatized at 5 in the morning.

He breaks the silence, "Ye alright there, love?"

It takes me a moment to comprehend what Alex is saying.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay. I don't know."

"Did ye have a nightmare?" he asks after a moment.

"Kind of. It feels too real to be just a dream though," I say.

"Your favourite worst nightmare?" he tries to joke with me, but fails miserably.

"Alex, that was a really dumb reference."

"I know."

He sits down next to me, making the old floorboards creak. We are both sitting together, the edges of our legs touching and our backs against the wall. I feel oddly uncomfortable with the sudden contact but still comforted by his presence.

We sit in unmitigated silence. The only sound that echos through the small room is our combined breaths, slowly fading into nothingness. I feel my eyelids become heavy and my head unconsciously gravitates towards Alex's shoulder. He tilts away from me for a moment to reach out and grab a soft blanket and drapes it over both of us. His even breathing resonates through me, lulling me back towards a restless sleep.

I am harshly woken up by the snap of light switches and angry muttering. I slowly open my eyes to see Jinny rushing around her kitchen, looking for something that she can't reach. Her state of panic inspires me. I realize how limited my window of reaching Zach is, I know I need to secure him now, before he disappears into the void forever.

I spring up, and rush back to the chilling guest room to grab my phone and urgently call Zach with a shaky hand. I wait in silence, praying that he will answer.

After a few rings he answers, "Hey."

"Zach, I know I screwed up and stuff, but I need you. I need you here, with me," I desperately try to convey my message to him.

"What do you mean?" he asks, seeming kind of confused.

"I want you to be here, with me. In this room, alone together. I want to feel your fingers."

"Brie..."

"Zach, please."

"Fine. But we are talking everything out first. There is a lot that we need to work through and think about."

I start to zone out as he starts talking about doing the right thing and being a good person.

"I'll be there in a few hours," he says, snapping me away from my thoughts.

"Okay," I haphazardly respond, unsure how to end the conversation. I always used to either say 'I love you' or 'See you soon' but now neither of those feel right to say at the moment. The part of my mind that was always comfortable with Zach is broken, nothing is the same anymore.

I emerge from the guest bedroom and wander down the hallway, thinking about how I can kill time until Zach arrives. Jinny is still rushing around the small apartment looking for something. Alex is holding young Max in his slender arms, trying to soothe him.

Jinny finds whatever she was looking for and briskly walks over to where Alex is. She hugs Max tightly and whispers that she'll be back soon and kisses Alex on the cheek.

When she hands Max back to Alex he starts fussing and whines, "Mommy, no work."

"Sorry Max, I have to go," she says as she strokes his soft hair sadly.

Jinny walks towards the door and yells, "I'll be home in a few hours guys, don't burn anything please." 

Alex chuckles deeply and whispers something under his breath that I really didn't want to hear.

"So what should we do now?" I wonder out loud.

"I have to go into the studio today mate. I was gonna drop Max off on me way."

I spontaneously decide that I'll volunteer to take care of Max today. It must be my lack of having my own child speaking for me. Alex thanks me profusely and ducks out of the apartment, pulling his leather jacket over his broad shoulders.

I decide to take Max to the park so that I can meet up with Natalie, another one of my friends from high school.

I quickly decide that having a child is hard work, after it takes me almost half an hour of struggling to get Max dressed and ready to leave the house. He whines almost all of the time. He won't stop asking me where Jinny and Alex are and I have to keep telling him that today they are working and I'm taking care of him. He doesn't seem to get it though.

I spend a painfully long and boring day with Max and Natalie. I am split between making sure Max doesn't fall and die and listening to Natalie complain about how her new boyfriend looks like a stump. She says she wishes her stumpy boyfriend looked more like Brooklyn Beckham and wasn't such an asshole all of the time. I didn't really know how to console her about that issue.

Hours later I head home, Max asleep in my arms, probably drooling on my shoulder or something. I put him in his crib/bed in the room Jinny and Alex sleep in together and head back to my room and collapse on the bed. I just wish Zach was here already.

I don't notice myself drifting off until I am already asleep and trapped in my unconscious mind. The nightmares begin almost immediately and keep coming, each one more terrifying than the previous. I cry out for Calum to save me, but he can't help me anymore. No one can. When I think it really can't get any worse I feel radiantly warm hands on my body, touching me.

At first it feels like part of the hallucination but something clicks in my brain telling me that it's Zach and I slowly wake up. The very first thing I see when I open my eyes is Zach's shirtless torso and kind of freak out. I'm about to make a stupid joke about him not wearing a shirt but catch myself when I see that he's sleeping. I guess he came in the room and I was asleep so he just took his shirt off and fell asleep beside me.

I missed his warmth. I missed how peaceful he looks when he's sleeping. I missed his even breaths slowly lulling me to sleep. No one is as warm and comforting as Zach is when I am lying next to them. I reach out a numb hand to trace the hard ridges of his stomach and run my fingers lightly over his wicked tattoos. I don't want to wake him up in case he gets mad but I can hardly just lie here with him shirtless and not be able to do anything. I flop back onto the bed and grab my phone to check the time.

I see that I have a text from Calum, asking me if I'm doing okay and saying that he'll be able to drive back within the next few days. I roll my eyes and feel temporarily annoyed with Calum for being so Calumy and nice.

I hear Zach stir slightly and wake up, rubbing his eyes.

"Brie," Zach whispers

"Zach," I whisper back.

We stare at each other for half a second thinking about what to say, but then it dawns on me that I don't have to say anything at all.

His hand caresses my cheek and holds me softly. His eyes darken with lust as he brushes his lips against mine with utmost passion. I sharply inhale and kiss him back with every ounce of my sanity. I smile to myself as he starts kissing my neck.

"Zach?"

"Yeah? Do you want me to stop?"

"No, I was just gonna ask you if you can feel my heart," I say.

He smiles to himself and laughs, "Yes, I can feel your heart."

I drag his lips back down to mine and kiss him urgently, not wanting to wait a minute longer.

His breathing hitches as I slide my hands down his bare chest, over his sculpted six pack, towards the edge of his blue jeans. He tears my shirt off, but then pauses.

"Wait, did you hear that?" he asks.

"Hear what?"

"I don't know, I thought I just heard someone walking around."

~Jinnys' Point of View~

I sighed, feeling a little lethargic as I opened the door to my apartment. It had been a long day at work and all I wanted now was to crash into my very comfy bed.

Walking into my bedroom, that I shared with Alex and my son Max, I was surprised to walk in on Max being gently cradled in Alex's arms.

"Is something the matter?" I questioned Alex.

He looked up with worry lining his handsome face and softened when he saw me.

"It's just-"

Then I hear it.

I internally groan, and smack my hand against my forehead.

I was totally going to kill Brie.

Even through the apartment walls, I could hear the faint sounds of a bed creaking, someone breathing heavily, and more sounds too explicit for me to describe directly.

I hasten my way into the guest room to see Brie and a very familiar male figure, one that I just couldn't place a name on, both sitting on her bed. They were both shirtless and the guy's long fingers were erotically stuck in her mouth.

Although it felt like I was walking in on a very intimate and confidential moment, justice has to be served.

I knock on the door frame, even doing it a few times to finally get their attention, and they jump apart a little bit, eyes wide, looking like deer caught in headlights.

"Jinny, I can explain-" Brie stammers out.

"Jinny..?" The male inquires and as he turns his head, I am hit by a wave of high school nostalgia.

It was Zach, someone from my high school I still didn't know if I resented or appreciated. Looking back at it now, I totally forgot 'Zach from high school' and 'the Zach, Brie was currently dating' were the same person up until now and mentally punched myself.

"Ooh, look who it is, the girl that infamously slept with Brodie Milne numerous times in high school!" Zach laughs, totally undeterred by the fact that I just walked in on him and Brie getting it on in my apartment.

I narrow my eyes, this was the part I resented. I really hoped nobody would bring up Brodie again, especially after I never told him that I had his child.

"Are you still sleeping with him? The way he just masters those pokemon?"

"I-" I stammer out, but was cut off short by Alex walking into the room and putting his reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"That's really none of ye bloody business," Alex says calmly. "And no offense to both of ye, but ye should probably shag somewhere else. There's a toddler in the vicinity, and I'm not sure if ye guys want to scar him for life."

"A toddler?" Zach genuinely looks surprised, looking at Alex and then me, then back to Alex and me again.

Brie sighs and nods half-heartedly. "I completely forgot, sorry Jinny."

Alex and I walk out of their room to give them some privacy while waiting for them to leave. When Zach and Brie finally both emerge from their room, I grab Brie's wrist to silently whisper to her to be careful, and she nods, understanding. Thinking Alex must've just gone back to sleep, I was shocked to see him strolling back towards us with a few condoms in hand.

"Be safe, lads," and hands them over to Zach, with a small uncomfortable pat on his back.

I laugh and see them out the door.

It was going to be a long night for those two.


	22. Everything Will Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kill!!! me!!!

~Bries' Point of View~

I wake up next to Zach, our bodies intertwined. I feel so at home when I am in his arms. Everything feels content before I momentarily lose chill when the glorious memories of last night return to me.

I need space, air to breathe. I flee the room as quickly and quietly as I can, scrambling to pull on yesterday's slightly damp clothes. I fling open the door and close it behind me as gingerly as I can.

Once outside the hotel I grab my phone from my jacket pocket and call Natalie, whilst angrily scowling at the sky.

"Brianna?" she answers.

"Natalie Fast," I reply, my mood brightening.

"Are you calling me because Jinny kicked you out for being too into it with Zach?" she asks, laughing hysterically.

"Uh, no. Well, kind of," I stutter, "Wait, how do you even know about that?"

"Jinny started a group chat with our old group of friends from high school just to tell us about it."

"Oh my god. Who was in the chat?" I demand. 

"I think Gina, Luke, Jaimie, and a whole bunch of other people that I can't remember." 

"Jinny, why?" I question the sky.

"Yeah, apparently he had his fingers in your mouth. Is that true, Brie?" she creepily asks.

"WHAT?"

My face flushes with heat and I make note to yell at Jinny later on.

"I hope his hands were clean at least." Natalie laughs.

"Yes, Natalie, they were very clean," I sternly tell her.

"I guess you would know, seeing as they were literally in your mouth." she continues to thrive on my embarrassment.

"I will hang up if you don't shut up about that," I gravely threaten her.

"Okay, I will stop," there's a break in the conversation as her laughter dies off, "So why did you call?"

"Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a road trip with me. We both have shitty boyfriend problems and we can talk it all out together. Also, I haven't spent any time with you since high school. We need to bond more, Nat"

"I guess so. As long as the stump doesn't come with us. Or Brodie, I am still grossed out by the thought him and Jinny together," she says.

"Don't worry, young Natalie Fast, it will only be us. We should invite some of the other old friends though." 

I think about it for a moment but come to the conclusion that out of our entire group of high school friends, Natalie and I are the only ones unsatisfied with our lives. Jinny has Alex and her son, Max and Gina and Luke are in a pretty hardcore relationship. I doubt either of them would want to spend lengthy hours listening to us complain. 

"Wait, never mind. I just realized no one else has problems in their lives." I say

"Okay then. I'll pick you up in like one hour man, I just gotta pack all my bikinis."

"Dude, are you going to flirt with all the guys that we meet?" I ask.

"Yeah, probably," she girlishly giggles.

"Where are we even going to go?" I wonder.

"Does it have to be a road trip?" she asks.

"Um, I guess not."

"LET'S GO TO HAWAII!" she shouts really loudly.

"Okay, but I have like no money dude," I sigh.

"I have so much money! I am the CEO of Apple and have too much money and nothing to buy."

"Only if you are sure about this Nat." I tell her.

"Yeah, man. This is going to be so sick! I can't wait to wear a bikini and drink margaritas and surf!!" her excitement penetrates me and starts to slightly cheer me up.

"Sounds good, Natalie. I think I have to go to Jinny's to pick up the rest of my stuff, so just pick me up there."

"I'll see you soon then."

I hang up and start to feel the good vibes seep in.

I take a cab to Jinny's apartment and knock on the door, feeling apprehensive as to what will happen when I talk to her about whatever happened last night. I hope she doesn't kill me or anything.

She opens the door at glares at me in silence.

"Jinny, I am so sorry," I profusely apologize to her.

"Brie, you idiot," she starts to raise her voice, "MAX IS STILL A YOUNG CHILD YOU CAN'T DO THINGS WITH HIM NEARBY!"

"I know, I fucking messed up. I am sorry, but you can't blame me for it. I swear it was all Zach. He kissed me first." I protest. I zone out and think back to my state of bliss last night with Zach, before Jinny interrupted us. His fingers were so good.

"Whatever, just go apologize to Max and Alex," she mutters. 

"What? No, I don't want to apologize to Alex, it will be too painful." 

I see the sinister gleam in her eyes and know that this is her punishment for me. 

"Make sure to really explain what was going on that caused you to make those noises," she evilly smirks. 

"Fine." I dryly say. 

"Good. Have fun."

I roll my eyes at her wicked glance. 

~

I manage to get through my talk with Alex relatively unscathed. I mostly just explain how much I missed Zach and reassure him that it will never happen again. He nods understandingly and then awkwardly pats my arm. 

I decide to ask him about Jinny, even though I know I probably shouldn't. 

"Alex, what is really happening with you and Jinny?" I try him. 

"Nothin'. Me and Jinny are good mates, really." he says. 

"So, nothing has ever happened between you? Was there ever a point when either of you had feelings or anything?" 

I'm really pushing it with him, but I feel that it is part of me being a good friend to Jinny. 

I look up from my hands to see a dark shadow pass over Alex's face. He abruptly stands and tells me he's happy with my apology and almost pushes me out of the room in his rush to end the conversation. 

Jinny gives me an odd look when I emerge from her bedroom, where Alex and I were talking, and asks me what happened. 

"Did Alex say something? Why do you look so freaked out?" 

"I don't know. I guess I asked him something too personal and he just didn't wanna talk about it," I lightly shrug. 

"Oh, okay," she says, mystified at the thought of Alex potentially hiding something. 

I don't know what is happening between them, but Alex Turner is definitely more shady than I anticipated.


	23. Leaving Tonight

~Bries' Point of View~

By the afternoon I have changed my mind. I decide I don't want to go to Hawaii with Natalie anymore. I feel like I am already so disconnected from Calum, and even Zach, and won't be able to handle the separation from either of them. I'm scared I will have some drastic moment and they won't be there. I need to be close to at least one of them at all times or it hurts.

I haven't even seen or talked Calum in almost three weeks at this point. I thought I was sure about giving all my effort into trying again with Zach, but after I rushed out of the hotel room that morning I have been doubting myself. I would've stayed and spent more time with Zach if I was really sure about him, right?

My mind is never fully made up. I always feel so certain, but as soon as something relatively serious happens, I freak out and change my mind. I feel like I shouldn't be with Zach because I cheated on him, but I feel like I shouldn't be with Calum because I used him to cheat on Zach.

I text Natalie and tell her that I just wanna go on a road trip to somewhere close. I know she'll be pissed off, and probably laugh at me, but I don't even care, I can't go.

Natalie texts back saying that she'll be over here in an hour to pick me up and then we can decide where we want to go on our road trip.

A little while later, I hear Jinny yelling my name from down the hallway, signifying that Natalie has arrived at the apartment. I let Jinny and Natalie catch up for a moment while I zip up my suitcase and haul it over to the front door.

I can only hear snippets of their conversation, but it sounds like Natalie is complaining about her stumpy boyfriend, yet again, and Jinny is excitedly telling her about all the cute things Max has done in the last six months. They both seem less than enthusiastic to hear each others stories. We have all heard too many stump complaints. 

"Hey," I greet Natalie with a semi-real smile, "I'm ready to go."

"But, we still don't know where to go," Natalie mentions to me.

"Just go to Edmonton and go to the mall or do some other basic girl thing," Jinny suggests.

I guess Edmonton is fine, at least this way I won't be away from Zach for too long.

"What do you think Natalie?" I ask.

She ponders it for a moment, "Okay, but I'm still mad about not being able wearing a bikini and not getting the opportunity to drink a margarita."

"Thank you so much, Nat." I gush.

She grumbles, "You're welcome, Brianna."

"What are you guys gonna do with the plane tickets to Hawaii than? Haven't you already payed for them?" Jinny asks, while cradling Max on her hip.

"I guess they just won't be used," Natalie says, "It's too late to do anything with them."

I get a genius idea.

"Jinny, why don't you and Max take them?" I offer.

"I can't take your plane tickets to Hawaii, Brie."

Natalie butts in, "Yeah, well, I am the CEO of Apple. I have lots of money and have decided that you and Max need a weekend in the exotic Hawaiian island of Maui."

Natalie tries to nod convincingly.

"What about Al though?" Jinny asks.

"Whatever, just leave him, it's only for a few days," I tell her.

"But, what if he gets lonely?" She worriedly asks.

"Alex is a grown man, Jinny, I am sure he will be fine if you and Max are gone for the weekend," I reassure her.

"Maybe I should get a pet for him so he isn't too alone," she trails off, "We should get a dog."

"You have to leave for the airport in just under three hours, so you better get going," Natalie warns.

"Dude, don't randomly get a dog. That is a really stupid idea," I sternly tell her.

"Okay, I am going to get some stuff packed," Jinny says, "Thank you so much, Natalie, I definitely owe you."

"Maybe you can break up with my boyfriend for me!" Natalie suggests, with a huge smile.

She hurries into her shared bedroom and starts rapidly packing, weirdly muttering to herself.

"Well, are you ready to go?" Natalie asks me.

"Yeah," I say, grabbing my purse and opening the door, shouting goodbye to Jinny and Max on my way out.

"Have you told Zach or Calum where you are going yet?"

"Uh, no. I'll call Zach when we get there," I sigh, omitting Calum from the discussion completely.

~Jinnys' Point of View~

I am desperately running around the apartment, trying to find all the suitable things that should be taken to Hawaii. I keep glancing at the time, wondering when Alex will be home from work. I need to say a proper goodbye to him, even if it's only a short trip over the weekend.

I hear a key in the apartment door and Alex comes in, bearing crumpets and tea. His eyes widen at my frenzied state and seemingly, all the drawers and cupboards in our bedroom open.

"Jinny, where are ye going?" he asks after a moment.

"Um, Hawaii. It was really last minute, Natalie gave me plane tickets literally ten minutes ago," I say while stuffing passports into my purse.

"You aren't leaving Max with me, right?"

"Nah, he's coming with me. You'll be okay for a few days right?" I worry aloud to him.

"Yes, I'll be fine" he slowly says, "Me and the lads will be writing, I think."

"Okay, but I'll really miss you," I sadly sigh.

Alex carries my suitcase down to the car while I put a jacket on Max and wake him up from his nap.

"I'll see ye off to the airport," Alex says and starts the car.

"Thanks Al," I smile contentedly.

When we get there he opens the car door for me and Max and helps us find where to go. 

Soon, we are outside of the security gates. I start to tear up when I realize that I have to part with Alex right now.

"Bye," I sniff, wiping my eyes.

Alex's eyes sadden, and he wholeheartedly embraces me, holding me tightly against his chest and wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm gonna miss you so much, Al."

He wipes away my tears and kisses my forehead, his lips lingering.

He intertwines our fingers and whispers, "Bye Jinny."

I try to stop crying and pick up Max and pass him to Alex.

"Bye Dad!" Max giggles when Alex lifts him into the air.

"Be a good boy, Max," Alex tells him and says goodbye, putting him back into my arms.

He caresses my cheek and hugs me once more. I savor the moment as much as I can and then slowly walk away towards security, leaving Alex behind in the crowded airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> u dont even understand how much i want 2 die


	24. Fly Away

~Jinnys' Point of View~

I'm sitting in the small plane seat, my fingers drumming on the armrest impatiently. I am unable to stop fidgeting apparently, I haven't stopped moving since I parted with Alex, hours ago. An elderly man with wispy hair is snoring next to me and Max is napping, but I can't fall asleep, Alex is on my mind and I can't stop worrying about him. I don't even remember the last time I have been away from Alex for more than 24 hours. We are together all the time, it feels like part of me is missing without him by my side.

I sigh and put my earphones in, letting Alex's rich voice wash over me, automatically soothing me to the core. I try to concentrate on his voice and nothing else. Eventually I doze off, my head lolling to the side and the tension in my limbs expelling.

A few hours later I am awakened by Max hitting my arm with a toy car and screaming.

I rub my eyes, yawn, and ask, "Max what's wrong?"

"Where's Dad?" he wonders, his blue eyes wide and curious, boring into mine.

"He didn't come with us," I sadly say.

I unbuckle Max from the seat, checking that the seat belt light is still off and pull him onto my lap. Max tugs at my hair and whines about Alex and asks me where his blue car is. I try my best to entertain him the whole flight, but all Max seems to want to do is throw toy cars at the other passengers.

By the time our plane touches down in Hawaii I am thoroughly exhausted. I rarely spend so much time with Max without Alex being there to help me out. I don't think that I can fully function when he's not here with me.

Once our suitcase comes out of the plane I quickly call a taxi to take us to our hotel, that Natalie is also paying for. I can still hardly believe the amount of money she is making as the CEO of Apple. I wonder for a moment what her boyfriend does for a living. Probably some shitty job, seeing as Natalie is always complaining about his financial decisions and laziness.

Finally Max and I are in our room and we can relax and lie down. I carefully tuck sleeping Max into a cot next to the wall, trying my best not to wake him. I collapse into the large fluffy bed and immediately fall into a deep slumber, my last thought being how I wish Alex was here and lying next to me, his arms around my waist. I really hate being an ocean away from him.

~Natalies' Point of View~

Brie and I started driving to Edmonton, but by the time we got to Kamloops we both decided we were sick of being in the car together and bought plane tickets from there. We took the soonest flight going from Kamloops to Edmonton.

Once were both settled on the plane I try to casually bring up her relationship with Zach and Calum.

"So, Brie, what is happening with you and Calum these days?" I meekly ask.

She looks conflicted and says, "I'm actually not sure."

"What do you mean? You slept with Zach a few days ago right? Are you guys together again?"

She turns bright red and looks out the window and mumbles, "Um, yeah we did... that together, but we are definitely not dating or anything like that."

"Doesn't that mean you and Calum are no longer together now?"

Still looking away, she answers, "The thing is, Zach and I never really talked. He just showed up in my bed and we got carried away pretty quickly."

"When's the last time you slept with Calum?" I prod further.

Her face turns even more red, "Not for a few weeks."

I groan and fall back into the seat, "How is it possible for you to have two attractive, decent guys willing to devote themselves to you and all I have is one boyfriend who looks like a fucking stump?"

"It's something in my magnetism," she says solemnly.

"Okay, whatever. I'm going to tell you my opinion on this now," I tell her.

"I am ready for the famous Natalie advice," Brie sarcastically says and sits up straight.

"First of all, you need to choose one and stop going back and forth. It's not healthy, in multiple ways."

I make sure to give her a meaningful nod. 

She cringes, but nods slightly, "Okay."

"It is also important for you to stop doing weird impulsive things. You need to think it out and make a final decision. Personally, I think you should choose Zach, because I ship that one hundred percent. Calum is kinda shady if you ask me."

"Nobody asked you," she mutters under her breath, but I catch it.

"Don't be rude, bitch." I try to be serious, but fail miserably.

The only effect I get is a flight attendant walking by and saying, "Thank you for choosing to be respectful of the other passengers."

I roll my eyes and Brie laughs, "Wow, Natalie, that was great. Your advice is amazing."

"Whatever, at least I'm not sleeping with two guys," I mutter.

Brie punches me and the arm and says, "At least neither of them are stumps."

She then proceeds to put her headphones in and soon enough, I hear the faint traces of House of Gold. I shake my head and put on some of my own music.

All of my friends say that it's really basic, but the truth is, I really love Taylor Swift. Listening to her is a necessity in my dull life. I feel like she is sometimes the only thing that keeps me from breaking up with my boyfriend and leaving him in the streets. Taylor is definitely my spirit animal and everything I want to be in life.

I think that me and Brie will have to go all out on this trip so that our sadness fully dissipates forever. As soon as our plane lands I pull out my phone and start booking expensive hotels for us to stay in and making calls to rent an expensive car. I refuse to drive any car other than a Maserati and I think Brie will soon agree.

This is going to be the best weekend ever, mainly because the stump isn't here with me. Also 1989 is a great album.


	25. You're Gone, But I'll Be Okay

~Bries' Point of View~

"Natalie, I'm going to go for a quick walk," I shout over my shoulder, walking out the door of hotel room.

Natalie and I have been in Edmonton for a few days, which was pretty much just spent shopping and bitching about our idiot boyfriends. I'll listen to her complain about the stump for awhile, nodding and agreeing with her for awhile, and then she'll do the same for me.

I shiver when the crisp fall air hits my skin when I step outside. I maintain a brisk walking pace, my mind moving much faster than my body. My brain feels like its constantly at war with itself, in process choosing between Calum and Zach. I haven't talked to either of them since I left Zach in the quiet of that hotel room in Vancouver. I'm starting to feel like I'm being deprived of oxygen without them by my side.

I rub my hands against my sides, trying to warm them. I curse myself for forgetting to wear gloves, again.

I feel no closer to an answer than I was when I got here. The only thing I am sure of, is that I miss them both. I even know that I miss them both equally. My heart feels like it's split in two jagged pieces.

I arrive at a small park and take a seat on one of the wooden benches, trying to clear my head. I watch my breath turn to steam in the cold air, trying to preoccupy myself.

I get eventually get so caught up in my own thoughts, that I stop processing the real world. I don't notice when a hooded male sits next to me and crosses his feet. He shifts and looks down and his feet and then at me. I continue looking up at the looming grey sky, pondering it again, until he places his pleasantly warm hand on my shoulder.

My eyes snap down from the sky and look directly into his. The air in my lungs stops moving when I catch on to who it is.

"Zach?"

He doesn't say anything at all, just leans down to press his warm lips against mine softly. He slowly draws away, his soft eyes never leaving mine. He looks wary of his actions, but he shouldn't be, because I know what to do now.

"I wanna be yours," I say, undaunted by my own words.

"I know."

~

Zach and I walk back through the city with our hands and fingers intertwined, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand, soothing me to the core. It's completely silent between us, the only noise is the occasional passing car and our feet shuffling through the leaves on the sidewalk.

I pull him into the lobby of the hotel Natalie and I are staying in and press the button for the elevator.

"I came here with Natalie, she'll be here and have a lot of questions for you," I tell him.

He chuckles and nods understandingly, "It's okay. I don't mind."

The elevator dings and the doors slide open. I press the button for the seventh floor and lean against the wall with Zach, my head resting on his shoulder and his arm around my waist.

I knock once on the door and pull out my room key, opening the door to reveal Natalie sitting on her bed. Her eyes are red and she is clutching a box of tissues, her knuckles white.

I rush across the room sit down next to her, "What happened? Did you break up with your boyfriend? Are you hurt?"

"No," she wails, not answering any of the above questions.

"What are you so upset about, Natalie?" I ask her, worry lacing my tone.

"It- its him. He's gone. Forever," her sobs muffled by the tissue.

I turn around to look at Zach, checking if he is as baffled by this as I am.

He shrugs, as unsure as I am.

"Explain to me what exactly happened while I was gone," I try to ask.

"I-I just heard th-that he's..."

"He's what?"

Dread floods my body as I start to grasp what happened with Natalie and her boyfriend.

"Is he... okay?" I ask.

She looks at me, deathly serious, "Brie, I think, well, he is, fucking dead."

"Oh my god, Natalie," I gasp in shock and wrap my arms around her.

Her body shakes in my arms and I try to soothe her, "It's okay, it's okay."

"I know," she lets out a shaky sigh, "I just with I did things differently."

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like I should have broken up with him a long time ago. It wasn't fair to either of us, especially me. Neither of us were happy together, but we never really split up."

"I get it."

"I have this tie to him now, my dead boyfriend, who I didn't even like," she explains.

"It's okay, Natalie. You don't have to let this ruin you. These past few months you guys barely talked, and I know you feel bad about everything. I mean, you didn't get to say goodbye and you probably can't remember the last time the two of you had a proper conversation, that didn't end in screaming and tears."

"It feels like there is a huge weight on my chest, forcing all my air and sanity out at once," she says.

I try to slightly change the subject, "How did he die?"

"They said it was a car accident. He crashed into a light post and was instantly gone."

"I'm so sorry, Natalie," showing as much sympathy as I possibly can. It's no secret among our group of friends that no one really liked her boyfriend. All of us thought he was a waste of time and potential. We never could figure out why Natalie stayed with him, for all of those months.

She just sniffs and wipes her eyes. "I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, I don't- I mean, didn't even like him," she stammers.

"Why don't you just go for a walk and listen to some Taylor Swift, Nat?" I suggest, looking around for her earphones for her.

She nods and pushes an earphone into her ear and thanks me, "I'm going to go for a walk, or drive, or something like that."

When she passes Zach, he stops her and puts a sympathetic hand on her shoulder and softly says, "You know it's gonna get better."

Her eyes start to water again, but this time she is quick to wipe away any oncoming tears, "Thanks, Zach."

She is about to leave, but stops and motions for Zach to follow her into the hallway. He gives me a confused look, but shrugs and follows her into the hallway.

I strain to hear what Natalie says, but it's something along the lines of, "I swear to god, don't fuck this up again, or I won't be the only one with a dead boyfriend."

Zach laughs loudly and sighs, "I know what I'm doing this time, Natalie. Just focus on feeling better, don't worry about us."

~

When he comes back into the room I immerse myself in making my bed, pretending I didn't hear Natalie's creepy threat.

"Um, what was that about?" I ask.

"She just wanted to know if I was ever close with her boyfriend," he lies.

I narrow my eyes at him, knowing he'll cave first.

"Really? Is that so?" I ask again.

He rolls his eyes, "You were listening, weren't you?"

"Yes."

"I promise you, Brie, I won't mess up again. I'm willing to put everything into this if you are. Actually, even if you don't want to, now, or in the future, just remember that I will always love you. I want you, always."

"I want all of this too, Zach. I want all of you."

He smiles and embraces me, folding me into his warm arms and chest.

I sigh in content and whisper into his chest, "I love you."


	26. Break Your Little Heart

~Jinnys' Point of View~

I yawn and stretch my aching muscles as I step out of the airport. Max is clinging to one of my legs and I am holding up a large suitcase with the other.

The trip to Hawaii was astonishingly perfect, I couldn't have asked for anything better, except for maybe Alex being there with us. Max and I spent hours on the beach each day. He would play in the sand and I would keep an eye on him while reading sappy love stories and drinking a margarita. I even managed to even out the weird tan lines on my feet. 

I look around the dark parking lot, semi surprised Alex isn't here already, waiting for us with open arms and a relieved smile. I sigh and call him, already knowing he won't answer, because he is kind of an idiot sometimes.

Eventually I realize we will just have to take a cab home and wave one over, throwing our luggage in the back. Max falls asleep almost instantaneously in my lap once we're inside. As we drive through the rainy streets of Vancouver I wonder if I should have told Brodie about him when I was pregnant. I guess it's too late to tell him now.

~

I open the door of apartment with one hand, cradling Max, still asleep, with my other.

"Alex, are you home?" I call out into our apartment.

And then I hear it, for the second time in two weeks. I'm hit by a nightmarish sensation of déjà vu, exactly like what happened with Brie and Zach, except so much worse.

I scream out loud and quickly cap a hand over my mouth, before they hear me. I rush to set Max down on the couch and creep down the hallway towards the bedroom Alex and I share. The ear and heart shattering noises only intensify as I get closer.

I raise my shaking hand to knock on the door, thinking about what I should do. It's pretty obvious what's happening in there, Alex and some girl are clearly sleeping together, and not in the innocent way.

I am beyond more than upset at this point, I am completely infuriated with Alex for breaking our deal.

I slam my hand against the door and yell, "Alex, you fucking broke our deal."

All movements cease for a minute and silence settles over the entire apartment.

"Jinny.... yer home?" Alex meekly says.

I hear shuffling and Alex emerges from the bedroom, shirtless and pulling up his pants. He tries to quickly close the door behind him, but he's not fast enough. I see the girl who he was doing things with and my heart really breaks. I can't believe he would do this to me, especially after our pact and all the other things that happened.

"I-I can explain," he protests when he sees my eyes fill with despair.

"Was that Taylor Bagely you were with, Alex?" I demand, my entire frame shaking with oncoming tears.

"Jinny, I am so sorry, but just let me explain," he tries to reason with me, but its no use to either of us. I am already broken beyond words.

"Whatever, Alex," I start to walk away as the tears spill over and the devastation sinks in, "Have a good evening with Taylor."

"Wait! Just talk to me for a moment," he desperately tries to stop me, but its too late for that.

I whirl around to look him in the eyes, the eyes I once found so beautiful and spit out, "Screw you."

He grabs my wrist, but I pry his fingers off sadly, "I have to go, Alex, I can't be here any longer. Just let me go."

I stare into his saddened eyes for another minute before scooping up Max and vacate the apartment, leaving Alex and Taylor alone to do whatever they please.

I take the car, strapping Max into the baby seat and calling Natalie.

"Natalie, can you babysit Max? Some stuff happened and I need to get out and have a drink," I ask.

"Bitch, no. I have my own plans," she retorts.

I am momentarily perplexed, because her boyfriend died.

"Please, Nat," I practically beg.

"Fine. Drop him off in five."

"Thank you so much."

I quickly hang up and call Dylan, my best friend from before I met Alex.

"Bro, I haven't talked to you in so long," Dylan answers.

"I know, but I need you to meet me at our usual bar in twenty minutes."

"Okay," he agrees.

"Thanks, Dyl."

"Is everything okay with you though?"

"Not at all, I'll tell you about it when I see you," I sigh.

~

I hurry over to Natalie's house and hand her Max, who is still sleeping, and then speed over to the bar where Dylan is waiting for me.

I am immediately soothed by the change of atmosphere and the sight of Dylan.

"Hey, Jinny," he says and engulfs me in a warm hug.

"Thanks for coming. I really need someone to talk to right now."

"So, you know, what happened?" he asks.

"Uh, did I ever tell you about the deal Alex and I made when we moved in together?"

"Nah, what was it?"

"We told each other that we wouldn't sleep with anyone else," I shudder.

"Why?"

"We didn't want to mess up our friendship, because we were living together and stuff."

"Did you and him ever...?" he motions.

"NO! Well," I start to say.

"What?"

"I mean, it was only once," I sigh with regret, "To be fair we were both pretty drunk."

"I knew it! Did you have fun with him?" he questions.

I give him a dry look.

"Is that even a question?"

Dylan smirks at me, "So he screwed some other girl tonight then?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

My mind is in excruciating pain at the thought of Taylor's hands on Alex's body. I literally cannot stand the images of his lips on her neck and his gentle hands brushing her blonde hair off her forehead.

Several hours later, Dylan and I have both had way too much to drink when Brodie walks by us. Dylan nudges my arm, giggles and points at him.

"Is that Brodie?" Dylan tries to stealthily whisper in my ear. 

I laugh even harder, "Yeah," I stand up and say, "Wish me luck."

I attempt to seductively walk over to him, and kiss him on the mouth.

"Woah, who are you?" Brodie asks.

"Brodie? You don't remember me? You fucking fathered my children," I angrily say.

"I probably don't remember you because my name isn't Brodie," he slowly says.

"What?" I get extremely confused, this person is clearly Brodie.

"Brodie is my twin brother," he explains, "I'm Brian."

He holds out his hand politely to shake. I ignore it and kiss him again, deeper than before. He responds, but stops almost right away.

He whispers, "Won't my brother be upset about this?"

I laugh, "Haven't talked to him since high school."

"Are you sure?"

I don't bother to respond. I grab his arm and drag him out the bar to the backseat of my car.


	27. Two Eggs Don't Last

~Jinnys' Point of View~

I wake up in a strange surrounding, a room that isn't my own. My fingers stretch across an unfamiliar mattress. I sit up slowly, the results and memories of last night hitting me. I look around the small bedroom in confusion and come to the conclusion that Brian probably slept somewhere else. I remember that after we did things in the backseat, I refused to go home and begged Brian to let me stay at his place. I slowly pull myself out of bed and grab a shirt off the top of the dresser, deeming it semi clean.

I yawn as I shuffle down the hallway, smelling food being made in the kitchen.

"Morning Jinny."

Brian walks past me to set some food on the table. I look down and see that he made eggs for the two of us. My heart warms at the gesture, and I can't help but smile at how sweet he's being.

"Thanks for the eggs, Brian."

"You're welcome. I thought you might need some cheering up, considering how you were last night," he tells me.

I freeze, wondering if I really screwed up and called him Alex by mistake or something like that.

"What do you mean? Did I like, do something weird?" I hesitantly ask.

"No. After we," he blushes, "you know, did stuff in the car, you kinda started crying. I didn't wanna leave you or anything, so I just brought you back here."

"Oh okay," I sigh, incredibly relieved, but still, crying is super lame.

We eat in silence for a moment, until Brian starts trying to make small talk.

"So who was that guy you were with? I'm assuming not your boyfriend."

I scoff at the thought of dating Dylan. "No, that was Dylan. Do you remember him from high school?"

"Dylan- wait like the Dylan who always was by your side for all of grade 12?" he asks.

"Yeah. We never dated or anything though."

I know he's thinking about his twin brother now, wondering what his role was in all this.

"Brian, I promise you, I never did anything with Dylan. Your brother was the only guy I was ever with in high school."

"Okay," he says, grimacing.

Brian laughs for a moment and then adds, "I mean, it doesn't matter now anyways right?" 

I hesitate, unsure of where he's going with this, but nod anyways. "Right."

"I don't really know how to explain this, but I guess I'm kinda worried about you," Brian says. 

Now I'm very muddled by what he means. 

"Um, why?" I ask. 

"I think its just because..." he trails off into silence. 

"Because of what?" I coax. 

"I-I think that I like you, Jinny," he says. 

I stop eating and process what he just said. We just reunited, he couldn't be into me already, right? I mentally argue with myself, trying to gauge what the appropriate reaction is. 

I decide that there is no logical reaction. I clearly don't like Brian. Last night really was just a one time thing, it definitely didn't mean anything at all to me, regardless of how nice he's being this morning. My heart entirely belongs to Alex, and I think my response to him having sex with another woman only confirmed it further. I cannot be associated with Brian in any way. He's the brother of the man who fathered my child, which only adds to the weirdness. 

I stand, keeping my face void of emotion. "I have to go home," I say robotically. 

"Oh, okay." His voice sounds hollow and dejected, but I refuse to let it ruin my composure. I have to straighten things out with Alex, right now. 

I quickly collect my things and vacate his apartment, calling Natalie for a ride home.

~ 

Natalie pulls her Maserati to the curb and I open the door and slide in. Max is in a child seat in the back sleeping, so I don't bother waking him. I still have to face the wrath of Natalie though. 

Once we hit a stoplight, she slowly turns and faces me, a smirk etched across her face. 

"So, Jinny, how was your night? Did you do anything scandalous?" she says, eyebrows raised. 

I blush and punch her in the arm. "I'm not gonna tell you the details while my son is in the car with us." 

"That's a really shitty excuse. He can't even hear us," she says. 

I sigh. I know she'll get her way no matter what. "Okay, fine. I'll tell you some stuff." 

"Dude, I wanna know everything that happened," Natalie says. 

I know there is no escape from Natalie's thirst for information, therefore, I might as well just tell her.

"Yes, I did sleep with someone last night-" 

I am cut off by Natalie gasping loudly. 

"Wait, didn't you break your pact with Alex? Wasn't there a rule that stated something about as long as you guys lived together you weren't gonna sleep with anyone else?" 

A tear runs out of the corner of my eye, but I wipe it away before she can see it. "He broke the deal first." 

Natalie's expressions saddens and she says, "Oh, I didn't realize. I'm sorry Jinny." 

"It's fine. I basically called Dylan right away and we went to some bar and Brian showed up and then shit happened," I say. 

"Brian- like the twin brother of Brodie?" 

"Unfortunately, yes," I sigh. 

"You are now gonna say that you were super drunk and didn't know what was happening and then ended up having really great sex with him at his apartment right?" she automatically assumes. 

"Yes, exactly that."

"I hope you used protection," she snickers. 

I punch her in the arm a second time, "Natalie, we aren't idiots, we fucking used protection."

"Don't be fucking rude. Your innocent son will hear you," she says. 

I scowl, "Just take me back to my apartment." 

"Won't Alex and his female companion be there?" she asks. 

"I have decided to assume that Alex had the decency to stop after I left."

She looks skeptic, but goes with it anyway. 

Soon enough we are outside and it's go time. I pick up Max and thank Natalie again, and go into my apartment. 

I unlock the door and slowly open it, bracing myself for the absolute worst. I lie Max down and go into our bedroom, really really hoping Taylor isn't still there. To my relief she is long gone, but so is Alex. 

He must be in the guest bedroom if he's not here, I think to myself. I knock lightly on the closed door, crossing my fingers. 

"Jinny, is that ye?" he murmurs from within. 

I sink to the floor beside the door, not daring to open it yet. "Is-is she in there with you?" I shakily ask. 

"No. Of course not," Alex denies. 

I let out a sigh of relief and a small portion of my tension is washed away. 

He opens the door and sadly looks down at me and joins me on the floor, sitting across from me. 

"Just tell me," I say. 

"I didn't," he motions, "go all the way with her, I promise." 

"What the hell was she doing in our bedroom then?" I ask, infuriated. 

"We kissed and did some other stuff, but her pants never came off," he tells me. 

Shame hits me like a brick wall. I feel like a fucking idiot. I should have stayed and listened to him. This means that I violated the pact and he didn't. He's gonna go berserk when I tell him who I slept with. I am beyond pissed off at myself for being such a shitty person. 

"Alex, I have to tell you something," I say, "I slept with someone, after I left," I give him a meaningful look and hasten to explain myself, "I only did it because I thought you slept with Taylor Bagely, and it didn't mean anything to me, I swear." 

He looks shocked and a little bit mad. "Jinny, how can ye just do that? Ye didn't let me speak and left and then slept with someone!" He pales and asks, "Who was it with?" 

"Al, please don't ask that. It doesn't matter at this point." I try to deter him, really not wanting to tell him who it was. 

"Who, Jinny?" 

I hesitate, considering lying, but I know it'll only get worse. "It was Brian." 

His back goes rigid, ghastly anger masking his expression, "That's the twin brother of the idiot who got you pregnant, isn't it?" 

"Yes. Alex, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say to convince you of this. You have to believe me, I swear, I didn't mean anything to me." 

He looks increasingly mad as I ramble on, trying to say anything that I can to get him to believe me. His brown eyes darken and he presses his finger to my lips, stopping me from saying anything else. 

"I should be the only one allowed to do this to you," he whispers. 

And then he kisses me.


	28. Fall Into These Arms

~Bries' Point of View~

Zach and I have been doing so well, that I've almost forgotten about Calum. I probably haven't spent more than five minutes thinking about him since Zach and I have gotten back together. Every night Zach and I have stayed up late talking and then fallen asleep in each others arms. I couldn't be happier with how things were going, except, Calums' existence kept nagging at me from the back of my mind. I know that I'll have to deal with it eventually, even if I don't want to. 

"Are you okay?" Zach's voice protrudes into my thoughts. 

"Yeah, just thinking," I say. 

"Calum, right?" 

Zach knows me so well. 

"I don't know what to do about him," I sigh. 

"Well, have you talked to him recently?" 

"No. Not since I left him in the hospital in Oregon." 

Zach's hand twitches when he remembers about the whole fight ordeal. 

"You should talk to him," he says, "You know, explain some stuff, like that you don't want him anymore." 

"Zach, I promise you, I don't like Calum anymore," I laugh and brush it off. 

"Good," he gruffly says, looking more and more uncomfortable the longer this conversation goes on. 

"I'll ask him to meet me somewhere sometime soon and we'll talk," I suggest.

He looks uneasy, "Shouldn't I be there to supervise in case he tries something?" 

"Zach, no. You know I wouldn't do that and he won't either, after I explain." 

"Fine," he says, still looking slightly unsure. 

I sigh, knowing for as long as we are together he will still doubt me. I guess I deserve it, after everything I did to him. I cheated on him multiple times and have generally shown to be an untrustworthy person, so I don't blame him for not trusting me. 

"I think I'm gonna invite some of my friends over in the evening, Zach. Why don't you find something to do with Alex, and Luke, if he's around," I say. 

"Who is Luke?" 

"Gina's boyfriend. He's also in a band and plays the guitar," I tell him. 

"Wow. So interesting," Zach says. 

"Stop being in a bad mood. It's annoying. You know that nothing will happen with Calum and I. You don't have to worry about it anymore."

He sighs. "I know, I just can't help it. Everything that happened has made me kinda paranoid about this type of stuff." 

"I know." I shift my gaze to the ceiling and try to avoid Zach's disappointment at me. 

He clears his throat and changes the topic, "What time are you gonna have your friends over?" 

I sense that he isn't done talking about this, but let it slide. I've put enough pressure on him already. 

~ 

~Natalies' Point of View~

I knock a few times on Brie's door before Zach opens it. 

"Hey Natalie," he says. 

I narrow my eyes at Zach, trying to detect if he has been messing around with Bries' feelings. 

"Uh, you can come in..." 

"Have you been keeping your promise?" 

"What promise?" Zach asks.

I punch him in the arm and say, "You idiot. You already forgot!" 

"Oh, you mean that time when you low key threatened to kill me if I hurt Brie again?" 

"Yes." 

"I did not hurt Brie, and I won't, I swear," he says. 

I don't completely believe him, but I've tried my best. Zach will always be an idiot, no matter what. 

I walk inside the new apartment Brie and Zach are living in and greet the rest of my friends. Jinny and Alex are sitting so closely together that Jinny is almost on his lap. Luke, Gina and Brie are sprawled across the rest of the furniture. 

With a sharp pang, I'm reminded that I am now the only single friend and that my boyfriend is dead. I know that I said all that stuff about not liking him, but now I really do miss him. No matter how shitty of a boyfriend he was. 

Jinny nudges Alex and tells the rest of the guys to leave so that we can talk about important stuff.

Alex and Zach put on their leather jackets and sunglasses and head out the door. 

I hear Gina whisper to Luke, "Don't be intimidated by their weird leather pants, they are pretty chill guys. I like your black skinny jeans better anyways." 

When all of them are finally gone we get right into it. I think all of us are most curious about what happened with Jinny and Alex. 

"Jinny, what the hell did you do to Alex?" Gina demands.

"I don't know... fucked him?"

"Why is that a question? Did you, or did you not sleep with Alex?" Gina asks. 

"Yeah, I guess so." 

"Jinny, don't pull a Natalie, you have to clearly state what happened," Brie intervenes. 

"Okay. I did indeed sleep with Alex David Turner. It was fantastic."


	29. Just Say Yes

~Jinnys' Point of View~

Gasps fill the room at my proclamation of sleeping with Al. I braced myself for the beratement which was surely coming my way. 

"Dude, didn't you have the weird pact with him?" Brie asks. 

"Yeah, but the pact was already broken when we did it," I explain. 

Gina, Brie and Natalie exchange worried looks. "Was it like, a punishment, for you breaking the pact first?" Natalie asks. 

"No," I say, "There was a misunderstanding and it ended in Alex kissing me." 

"Who did you break the pact with anyways?" Gina wonders. I forgot that they don't know about me sleeping with Brian.

Natalie evilly cackles from the corner. "She slept with Brian!" 

"Brian-" Brie thinks, "Wait, BRODIE'S BROTHER?" 

"Um, yes," I grimace. I still can't believe I made that mistake.

"Have you even talked to Brodie or Brian since high school?" Brie questions.

"Nah. I haven't talked to Brodie since I found out I was pregnant. But, I talked to Brian in the bar before we went to his car, so that's good," I tell them. 

"Don't worry guys, they used protection," Natalie says, flashing a thumbs up. 

Gina turns to Natalie, "How do you even know that?" 

"Jinny told me." 

Gina shakes her head. "What else have you been keeping a secret from me?"

I think back to all the stuff that's happened since I last talked to Gina. "I don't know. Natalie's boyfriend died." 

"The guy who had a shitty life and owned a grass mowing company?" Gina laughs unsympathetically. 

Natalie looks slightly pissed off. "Fuck you Gina, my boyfriend was fantastic at mowing." 

"Who even grows up and just decides to start mowing? That doesn't seem normal." Gina continues to trash talk Natalie's dead boyfriend as Natalie gets progressively more mad. 

"Well, I bet Luke is a shitty boyfriend and isn't as good as mowing as my boyfriend," Natalie rebuttals. 

"Enough with the goddamn mowing, Natalie. No one is as perfect as Luke Hemmings," Gina says.

"Okay guys, that's enough. We all know that you had a lame boyfriend, even you've said so," I intervene. 

I try to change the subject and ask Brie about her eternally problematic relationship/relationships. 

"What is going on with you and Zach now? Is there any Calum drama yet?" 

"Zach and I are good, but I need to talk to Calum and Zach doesn't trust me to do so."

Gina laughs. "Why does he think you're going to cheat on him again? Because you would totally never do that," she sarcastically drawls. 

Brie's face turns red in anger, but Gina just continues to laugh. Amidst the laughing I hear a muffled knock on the door and offer to get it. I hope Alex, Luke and Zach aren't back yet, there is still truth to be uncovered.

When I open the door, standing before me, is the one and only Calum Hood. 

I grab his bicep and drag him into the bathroom and hastily lock the door. 

"Calum, what the fuck are you doing here? You better not be here to screw everything up again," I wrathfully whisper at him. 

"To talk to Brie because she never called me on my cell phone," he whispers back. 

I sigh, already incredibly annoyed with Calum. I can't handle younger men, which is my second best reason for going for Alex. I won't say what my best reason is, it may be unsuitable for some people. 

"If I let you talk to her, what are you gonna say?" I ask. 

"Ask if she still loves me," he tells me, his voice small and worried.

I want to let this play out, I bet there will be some great rejection drama that comes out of this. 

"Okay, but if you try anything weird, I will destroy you," I warn him. 

"I won't!" 

To my disappointment, Calum doesn't even look slightly intimidated by me. 

"Just wait here for a second," I tell him, squeezing past him out of the bathroom. 

"Jinny, who was at the door?" Brie asks. 

"You're favourite worst nightmare." I laugh at the 100% relevance. 

"Oh my god, Calum?" she worriedly asks. 

A warm hand pushes me to the side and Calum steps into Brie's view. 

She draws in a breath and pales. "C-Calum, what are you doing here?" 

Before she can say anything else, Calum kneels on the ground, pulls out a ring and says, "Marry me, Brie, you'll never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress. It's a love story, baby, just say yes."


	30. Obsessed With The Thought of Breaking Your Heart

~Bries' Point of View~

I look directly into Calum's eyes, the same eyes I was once so in love with, and say, "No."

Calum's heart breaks so hard, it's almost audible for everyone in the room. His eyes fill with unshod tears and he stutters, "Oh-oh okay."

He keeps looking at me though, expecting me to say something else.

"You can go now, you know." I urge him to leave, because he definitely isn't wanted here anymore.

"Is this it? You're just gonna say no?"

"Pretty much, I don't love you," I say.

He looks plainly embarrassed now. "I guess I'll go home now."

"Great idea, Calum."

"I'm gonna have to drive all night to get home. I'll look for the answers in the pouring rain." He continues to blabber on, even if absolutely no one cares.

"I don't fucking care," I rudely interrupt, "Bye Calum. I had a great time with you."

Gina, also known as the best wing girl ever, grabs Calum by his arm and drags him out of the apartment and shuts the door behind him, making sure to lock it.

We all look around the room at each other, kind of in shock over what just happened.

Spontaneously, we all start laughing at Calum's horrible attempt at proposing. Natalie even claps a few times and gives me a high five saying, "Good job Brie! I couldn't have done it better!"

"Thanks guys," I say, doing a fake curtsy, "That was pretty fun."

Katie comes in the door with a bottle in her hand and yells, "Vodka!"

~Calums' Point of View~

As soon as the door closes, the tears in my eyes completely spill over. I only manage to stagger down the hallway a few steps before I collapse into a hopeless lump, sobbing on the cold hard ground.

I can hear them celebrating inside. Their laughter ricochets through my chest, making everything hurt even more. I have to get out of here before they see me like this, or worse, Zach shows up.

I can only imagine his wrath when he finds out that I proposed to his girlfriend. I'm assuming they are dating, unless Brie moved on past both of us. I sure hope not. If she did, I guess I could go bond with Zach over our broken ass hearts.

I drag myself to my feet, but my broad shoulders won't stop shaking with silent sobs.

A small girl with red hair taps the side of my leg and looks at me with concern in her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I lie.

"Don't try ever break someone's heart like this," I tell her.

"Okay," she says, confused by what I mean, "Don't cry mister. Do you need a band aid?"

I let out a strangled laugh, "I can't bandage my heart. That girl, she tore my heart, and I doubt I'll ever recover from it."

"I don't know what that means," the girl says.

"Don't worry about it, I'm gonna leave now." 

I pat her head, trying to reassure both of us that it'll be alright.

"Get better," she cheerfully chirps to me. Her smile almost breaks me all over again. I don't understand how someone can be so happy in a world filled with such darkness.

"Thanks," I mutter. I silently add something about never feeling better again, because Brie totally shattered every aspect of me.

I somehow make it out of the horrid apartment building, which I have now developed a strong sense of hatred towards, and into my stupid fancy car.

My tears keep on streaming out of my eyes, onto the steering wheel, and dripping on the seat.

My vision blurs and I can hardly move. Everything feels distorted and illegible, and I have no idea what to do with my life anymore. Brie was everything to me for so long, and now she's gone, for real this time. My last chance was used and discarded like an empty bottle. The worst part is that she didn't even care. She hardly gave it any consideration at all. I guess I don't mean anything to her. I wonder if I ever did, or if it was all a lie. 

I call Michael in my haphazard state, "Bro, are you around Vancouver?"

"Yeah, I just dropped Katie off at Brie's place. I'm at McDonalds now."

"Be there in 5. Brie just destroyed my heart and everything else."


	31. Pacify Her

~Alexs' Point of View~

Zach, Luke, and I walked out onto the street after we were promptly kicked out of Brie and Zach's apartment to let the girls converse and reconnect in private. Surely, they had a lot of things to talk about.

"So... y'lads want to head down to the bar?"

~

I take a small sip of my bourbon, not wanting to get drunk too fast, but I could already tell by the way Luke and Zach were both slightly slurring their words and how they could somehow lose their balances even whilst sitting down on stools, that they were already tipsy.

"-yeah, that's why I love penguins," Luke finishes off, throwing his head back and laughing loudly.

Zach smiles wryly and lightly punches his arm with his fist. "So, what's going on between you and the legendary judge face?" He jokes.

"What?" Luke asks.

"Oh y'know, what's going on between you and Gina?" Zach repeats, rolling his eyes.

As soon as he said it, I could tell Zach regretted it because Luke goes quiet. I see his lip twitch and his eyes look downward in a contemptible manner. He places his glass down and for a few moments we all just sit in uncomfortable silence.

"Luke, is everything alright between ye and Gina?" I ask a bit cautiously.

Luke sighs deeply, and mumbles, "Guys, I fucked up."

"I reckon so," I mutter.

"You sure did," Zach affirms. "What did you do now?"

Luke's hands are gripping his glass so hard I'm a bit worried it'll shatter.

"I, uh..." He swallows. "I-er cheated on her... with Arzaylea."

My eyes wide in surprise and I can hear Zach beside me groan loudly.

I really didn't expect Luke to be that kind of guy and hopes he has a reason for doing so. I can't imagine how screwed he'll be when Gina and the rest of her friends find out. I gulp, wondering what I'll tell Jinny.

"Well, now's the time for you to tell us your shitty reason, if you have one," Zach says a bit harshly and Luke grimaces.

I don't blame Zach. I know enough about what happened between him and Brie after all those nights I consoled her when she woke up crying in Jinny and I's apartment.

"I didn't mean to!" Luke almost yells, desperately, "I was drunk, and she came onto me, and I feel so bad you don't even know, and I don't know what to say to Gina, and..." He rambles on and on.

I try to calm him down, even though my heart isn't entirely in it. Then, suddenly, he grabs both of our sleeves with his shaking hands and pulls us in to whisper, "You guys have to promise me you won't tell her, or her friends," with an anguished look on his face.

I'm kind of torn at what to do.

Zach whispers, "Fuck."

Agreeing, I curse, "This is a load of bollocks," and down my drink, wondering just what in the world I had gotten myself into.


	32. Can I Confess These Things to You?

~Ginas' Point of View~

All of us are meeting up again, but at Jinny and Alex's place this time. Things have been off between Luke and I, ever since the night of Calum's declined proposal. I can't put a finger on what it is though. I try not to let my mind wander into darker spaces, the spaces where I wonder if Luke did something and hid it from me. I try to trust him, but it's becoming harder and harder. He mopes around our flat day and night, barely speaking a word. It feels like the only thing he says anymore is that he loves me.

If I ask him what's wrong, he just murmurs something about being tired from band practice and withdraws from the conversation, leaving me as unsure as I was before. My alleges against him grow the longer this goes on, but I still continue to trust him, letting myself believe the incessant lies he feeds me. 

~

"Ready to go?" I ask him. 

"Yeah," he says, his eyes not quite meeting mine. I cannot recall the last time he has looked at me properly, without the foreboding hesitance between us. 

I open the door and pull my hood over my hair, not wanting the copious amount of rain that is falling to soak me. I try to reach out to Luke with my hand, but when my hand brushes his, he isn't hesitant to pull away and cram his hands into his pockets. 

I give him a sideways look, trying to interpret what's going through his mind right now. He refuses to look at me, as usual. He keeps his gaze locked to the ground, pretending to be absorbed by the rivulets of water trickling down the sidewalk. 

"Luke, just tell me. I don't care what it is. I know there's something on your mind that's bothering you." 

He doesn't answer me, just shakes his head, and murmurs something that I don't catch, and maybe don't want to. 

We sit in silence in the car, neither of us saying a word. I fiddle with my hands from the passenger seat and Luke keeps his hands gripped on the wheel so firmly, his knuckles turn white.

~ 

"Hey." Jinny greets us at the door. "We can't be too loud, Max is having a bit of a nap." 

"I'm sure Luke won't be contributing to any of the noise," I say, my annoyance with Luke's silence starting to get to me. 

Normally, he would say something funny, or kiss my cheek, but nothing going on with him is exactly normal. 

He just continues to stare fixedly at the ground, toying with the cuffs of his jacket. 

Jinny looks at me, probably confused as I am. "Well, come in. Brie and Zach aren't here yet, but everyone else is." 

I go into the living room and sit down across from Natalie and Katie. Katie immediately bombards me with stories all the excitement in her life. Luke is in the kitchen with Alex and Michael, leaning against the fridge, beer in hand. 

I hear snippets of their conversation, and it sounds like Alex says something along the lines of, "Have you told her yet?" 

I stand up to move closer to them, wanting to hear what they are saying, but at the same time, Brie and Zach come in, laden with various forms of alcohol. 

"Hi." I hardly notice Brie talking to me. "Dude, are you okay?" She asks, looking as perturbed as I'm feeling.

I glance at her, and then back at Luke, Alex and Michael, whom have now been joined by Zach. "Yeah. I'm good." 

"Are you sure? Something looks wrong," she presses. I don't want to be talking to her anymore, I need to get answers from Luke, right now. 

"I think there's something going on with Luke. He might be keeping something from me."

Brie says, "I think you should talk with Luke."

I sigh. "Don't you think I've tried? He won't even look at me, let alone talk to me!" I don't mean to snap at her, but I can't help it. All my anger is pent up and I'm badly needing answers to all the questions swimming in my head. 

"Go take a walk with him, he'll tell you if you press hard enough," she advises me. 

"I don't know about this. Everything feels wrong." 

"Just speak with him. You'll know when he tells you." Brie tells me, trying to stop me from being so distressed. 

"Can't you just tell me?" I ask, somehow wishing I didn't have to hear it from Luke.

"It's indubitably not my place to tell you."

"Okay." I sigh again. "I guess I'll talk to him." 

Brie nods and wishes me good luck, her hand lingering on my shoulder. 

~

Nearing the group of men, I wonder what I've gotten myself into. 

Their conversation halts when I approach them. "Do you want a beer or summat?" Alex asks me. 

"I'm good. Luke, can I talk to you?" 

"Yeah. I need to tell you something." He seems determined to tell me now, but I can tell that he's worried what my reaction will be. 

The rain still hasn't stopped outside, it just continues to pour down in freezing sheets. Luke helps me into my jacket and presses a light kiss to my forehead, stubble brushing against me. He even takes my hand in his when we step outside, something I haven't experienced in weeks, and it comforts me. I have a grim feeling that this is the calm before the storm. 

"Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I will love you 'til the end of time. Even if you want to leave me. I'll understand if you do, I deserve it," he says, sadness in his beautiful eyes.

"Luke, you're scaring me," I say, "Just tell me." 

He stops walking and grasps both of my hands in his, the ice cold rain soaking into our skin. 

"Gina, I-I slept with someone else." His words hit me hard, knocking the breath out of my chest. I stumble to the ground, going completely numb all over. I can't assimilate what he just said. It makes no sense to me. Our relationship was perfect. We were in love, for god's sake. I don't know why would he do this to us, to me.

"Gina." I hear him talking, but I can't process his words. "Gina." He says my name again. "Are you okay?"

All the fuzziness fades away to anger in a single moment. I stand up slowly, my entire body shaking, adrenaline and anger pulsing inside me. 

"Luke, what the hell?" I shout, unable to remain calm anymore.

He raises his palms. "I am so, so sorry. I know it's unforgivable, and wrong, but I am sorry. There isn't a cell in my body that doesn't regret doing it." 

My eyes darken, giving in to the madness. 

"Gina, I've hated myself every single day since it happened." He pauses to take a deep breath and looks directly into me. "I know it's not going to make you feel any better, but I have to tell you." 

"Tell me what? What could be worse than you fucking some other girl?" I violently spit. 

"I- Gina- It was with Arzaylea." 

"Fuck you, Luke," I yell and punch him as hard as I can in the face, putting all my weight behind it.

He doesn't rush to cup nose, even though it's probably broken and blood is freely streaming from it. He just keeps saying, "Gina, I'm so sorry. I love you." 

"Sometimes love isn't enough Luke."


	33. I Need To Kill You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for blood, violence and death

~Lukes' Point of View~

The fight with Gina left me dismayed, to say the least. I've been searching for some way to make this better, and my best idea so far is to show her how I'd clearly chose her over Arzaylea.

I've made arrangements for Arzaylea to come to Vancouver, which may seem dumb at first, but my idea is actually pretty good. 

Basically, Gina is going "accidentally" walk in on me and Arzaylea yelling stuff about hating each other and never wanting to talk again, and then Gina will realize that I love her and not Arzaylea. 

Arzaylea has already agreed to act fake and pretend that she hates me, so the plan should follow through flawlessly. 

This is probably the best idea to grace this world, second only to wearing tube socks with khakis. 

I can't wait to see how happy Gina will be when the plan is unfolded. We will be in love once again. 

I haven't told anyone about my idea yet, only because I feel like they won't agree with my perspective on how it'll all turn out. My band mates will only laugh and tell me how the whole thing will most likely go up in flames. 

~

Today is the day. Arzaylea and I will have our fake fight and it will end with Gina confessing her love to me. This will work, I don't have any doubts.

"Arzaylea?" I say into my phone. 

"Yes?" She responds in her high-pitched warble. 

"How far away are you from my house?" I ask.

Gina and I have still been living in the same house, because neither of us really have any other place to live at. We completely avoid each other though, it's like living with ghosts. 

"Maybe 10 minutes," she estimates. 

"Okay, so remember to just come around the back door, because Gina cannot see you." 

"Yes, Luke, I know," Arzaylea says. 

"And then, start yelling at me. Just say anything you can think of, but remember to mention how much you hate me."

"I don't hate you though," she pouts. 

"Fake it then. Make sure you loudly yell that you regret sleeping with me." 

"Sure." 

I have a stroke of genius. The rest of the plan should would out, but this will make it so much better.

"Okay, I've got one last thing that you need to say," I tell her. 

"What is it?" 

"Say something about how sleeping with me was horrible because you could tell that I was thinking about Gina the whole time." 

"Luke, that's pretty weird," she tells me. 

"Don't care. Anything that'll convince Gina."

Her voice drops to a whisper and the car noises come to a halt. "I'm outside. I can see Gina moving around upstairs." 

"Sneak around the outside and come into the basement. The door is unlocked," I instruct her. 

"I'm hanging up now. Good luck," she tells me and the line goes dead.

I quickly slip into the basement, shivering at the frigid temperatures and the general disorder the basement is in. There's random stuff all over the floor and a bunch of weird tools on the wall. There isn't any point in cleaning any of it up, no one ever comes down here for anything. I tug on a string dangling from the ceiling and a single light bulb flickers on, casting harsh shadows around the room. 

I hear the door opening and a feminine squeal. Arzaylea must be here. 

She walks into the room, her fancy shoes clicking on the bare concrete. She brushes her long hair out of her face and gives me a weird look. 

"Are we going to start yelling now?" Arzaylea mouths. 

"Yeah, you start," I whisper. 

She quietly clears her throat and shoots me an apologetic look. 

"Luke Hemmings, I fucking hate you," she shouts. 

I really hope Gina can hear us from upstairs, if she can't, this whole thing won't have any point.

"Arzaylea, I don't know why I slept with you in the first place. You suck and I don't like you." 

She looks upset when I say that and I have to give her a coaxing smile to get her to continue. 

"When I slept with you, it was terrible because I could tell that you were thinking about Gina the entire time."

"Why would you even sleep with me if I was thinking about Gina?" I yell. 

She swallows, "Because I was desperate and lonely and it was easy to seduce you when you were drunk."

"Well, fuck-" I'm cut off by a door banging open. 

Gina stands in the doorway, giving us both a hauntingly scary look.

"You both can shut up now, I know about your fake little plan."

How can she even know? It was top secret.

"Gina, do you see now, how much I love you? I planned this whole thing just to show you that you mean everything to me." 

She doesn't say anything to me, and turns on Arzaylea. "Bitch, you can leave now. Be glad that I'm feeling nice enough to let you live."

Arzaylea's brown eyes widen and she scurries out of the basement, leaving the door swinging behind her. 

Gina looks at me, an alarming look in her eyes.

What's wrong with her?

"Gina, are you okay? I love you," I try to tell her. 

"Go sit in that chair," she snaps, pointing to a chair in the corner of the eerie basement. 

"Gina, you're scaring me," I hesitantly say.

"Good." 

~Ginas' Point of View~

I know that Luke has his set of plans, but I have my own, and I think they are better than his.

The thing is, I knew all about his stupid idea to argue with Arzaylea in hopes of getting me back. 

It didn't change anything, his fate is already chosen. 

Luke Hemmings is going to die tonight.

"You deserve to be punished, Luke." 

"I guess so," he says, unsure of what I'm doing to him. 

"How badly do you think you should be punished?" I ask him. 

"I don't know. Pretty badly. I cheated on you."

I mull it over, trying to decide what to do to him. 

"Gina, you can yell at me, I can take it," he pathetically says to me. 

"Luke, you deserve much worse than that." 

He isn't catching on. I want him to beg me to kill him. I want to hear him clearly say that he wants his blood to run over my hands and that his dying breath should be on my face. 

"Hurt me then."

"Do you want me to hurt you?" I ask him, looking straight into his pain-filled blue eyes. 

"Yes, I want you to hurt me, badly."

I maliciously smile to myself, my plan is working, soon he'll be on his knees begging to die. 

"I think that... I want to watch you hurt yourself," I tell him.

"Okay. I'll do that for you. Anything." 

He looks so desperate, situated on that plastic chair, dripping with sweat. He's nervous to die, but I can tell that he's ready. 

I hand him a polished silver knife, kissing the blade and giving it to him handle first. 

"What should I do to myself with this?"

"Trace every vein in your arm with the tip of that blade. Press hard. I don't want to hear you scream," I warn him. 

I watch him in fascination. He looks so beautiful, his face half in the shadow cast from the moon, and his arms glistening red. Blood drips onto the floor, but he never stops his actions. He diligently moves the knife across his skin, taking care and pride in his work, wanting to please me.

Once his shoes are splattered with his own blood, I tell him he can stop. 

His entire body is shaking, blood loss getting to him. His skin is sallow and thin and he's having trouble breathing. 

I know there isn't much fight left in him now, and he won't be making any rational decisions. 

"Luke, what do you want me to do for you now?" 

"Gina-I-I love you."

I kiss his lips softly, closing my eyes. "Do you want me to kill you?"

"Yes." 

"Okay." 

"I love you so fucking much. Never forget that."

"I love you Luke."

"Kill me. Please." 

I slash open my own arm, wanting my blood to infuse him before he dies. When the blade is covered in my blood, I raise the knife to his neck, pressing gently.

"Luke, are you ready?" I ask. Thin droplets of blood are beading along the edge of the knife. 

"Yes," he pants. 

His face is so pale and his soul looks broken. 

It's time.

I kiss his bleeding lips one last time, tasting the iron on my tongue.

"I love you."

"Kill me." 

I listen to him, digging the knife into his skin. Warm blood rushes over my steady hands and drips down my arms, staining my blouse. 

He makes a drowning noise at the back of his throat and his eyes shut slowly.

I take a deep breath, and push the knife all the way through, severing his windpipe, killing him. 

"I love you."

He can't hear me. 

He's dead.


	34. I Don't Love You Anymore

~Ginas' Point of View~

I have my reasons for killing Luke. It's something I've always wanted to experience, the kind of love where you're willing to let the person you love kill you if it makes them feel better. To be so in love with a person that you would slice open your own body to make them happy. A love so ardent that you would kill yourself to make them feel more alive.

There's nothing that shows love more than that. I can easily say that I would do the same for Luke, if he wanted. If he told me to press a knife into my throat until I blacked out, I would do it, without hesitation.

I didn't even want to kill him over the cheating ordeal, I only wanted to kill him as an experiment. If he didn't love me, he would've refused to die, and tried to avoid oncoming death.

He passed the test though, he let me kill him.

The key, I think, is to accept it. You have to acknowledge the fact that you would die for someone. Not only die for them, but let them kill you for their personal gain.

Love like we had is special.

I can't stop dreaming about how luscious his hair felt after he died, how beautiful it looked when it was streaked with his own blood. He smelt so good before he died. His smell was such a satisfying conglomerate of cologne, blood and sweat, each smell so unique and precious to me.

Red is my favourite color on men, especially when it's running down their necks. 

~

I owed it to Luke to confess what I did, so the next day I turned myself into the police for his murder. I didn't have any regrets about killing Luke, and I didn't regret confessing to killing him. 

The police immediately arrested me, handcuffing me and putting me into a temporary cell. Evidence was gathered, and no one doubted that it was I who killed him. My friends, well, they were surprised to say the least. No one could believe that I actually had it in me to kill someone that I loved so dearly. It wasn't entirely my decision though, Luke was the one who had actually told me to kill him. I was only following his command. 

It doesn't matter. What's done is done.

Today, I've been granted permission to visit with one person before they take me to Ontario to lock me up in a maximum security prison. I chose Brie, purely based off of how many bad choices she's also made in her life. 

I sit on one side of the glass, my hands tightly cuffed together, the cool metal biting into my raw skin. Guards watch from the back of the room, never taking their eyes off of me. I shiver, the blandly cold atmosphere of the concrete room chilling me to the bone. 

Brie enters the room, shuffling to sit across from me. It's clear she's been crying, her eyes are red and puffy. I wonder how much it's affected everyone else. 

Is everyone mourning Luke? I didn't grieve for him at all. I put forth all my love for him when I pushed that knife into his neck, and now there isn't any love left for him in my heart. 

It was good while it lasted. 

Brie doesn't say anything to me. I don't know how to initiate a conversation with her. Do I apologize? Am I supposed to explain myself? 

"Gina, why?" Brie breaks the silence, wiping her eyes. 

"I-I had to."

"Why did you have to kill him?"

"Because I wanted to. So badly," I tell her. 

Brie looks disgusted with me. "What is actually wrong with you? You would never have done this before. What changed? You're not a murderer." 

"I shouldn't tell you. Not here." 

"Gina, it can't get worse than this. You're already sentenced to a life in jail."

I hesitate, shiftily looking around the room. Dropping my voice to a whisper, I say, "I was told by someone, that killing the person I loved most, would help me prove myself to him."

"Prove yourself? Prove yourself to who?" Brie demands. 

"To Luke, but ultimately-" I try to say, but she cuts me off.

"Killing someone is not a way to prove yourself, Gina, killing someone is only proving you to be a murderer." 

"That's not what he told me," I mutter.

Brie's eyes look up from her fidgeting hands, narrowing in suspicion. "Who told you this? Did someone tell you to kill Luke?" 

"I can't say his name." 

"Why the fuck not, Gina?"

"Because his sentence will only get longer if the authorities find out about this," I tell her, "And also, he told me this years ago, and I've just been waiting." 

She looks aghast at my words. I would be too, after finding out my life-long friend had been planning murders behind my back. 

"Gina, just tell me who," she snivels.

"It-it was-"

"Gina, now." 

"Fuck." I break. "Harry Styles told me to do this."

"What the hell? Are you kidding?" She concernedly asks. 

"No. It was a few years ago, in 2013, before he was arrested for statutory rape, he's been in prison ever since." 

"What did he tell you? Did he force you to kill Luke?" Brie shakily asks. 

"No. He just told me his perspective on what love truly is. He told me that love is begging someone to hurt you, even kill you, for pleasure. I think, ever since that day, I've wanted to see if I could get to that point with someone. After Luke died, I had to turn myself in. I wouldn't be able to live free and unpunished after killing Luke."

Brie still remains silent, taking in all the horrible things I'm telling her.

"Brie, I just did what I thought was right." I try to reason with her. 

"Okay."

"That's all you're going to say?" 

"What do you expect from me? What you did was inexcusable and incredibly wrong in so many ways. You can't kill someone for a stupid experiment that some creep put you up to."

"Brie, I'm sorry, but I still think what I did was right."

"It's not."

The guards clear their throats and tell Brie that her time is up and she has to go now. She obliges, happy to leave me here to rot. 

"Don't ever contact me again. I don't ever want to see you again." Brie practically spits her words at me, furious. She marches out of the room, slamming the door behind her. 

I sigh in defeat, and try to bury my head in my hands, but the handcuffs prevent me from doing so. The guards yank me to my feet and hauling me back to my cell.

Tomorrow, my life sentence begins, and I'll never see anyone I love again. 

It's okay.

I'm happy I killed him.


	35. I'll Be Ready For the Funeral

Bries' Point of View

The funeral for Luke is today, and it'll be hard on everyone. It's incredibly disheartening how he died, at the hands of one of our closest friends. Every few minutes it hits me again.

Luke is dead.

Gina killed him.

I've heard that it's going to be a closed casket funeral, his body has been deemed too damaged to be looked at.

I hate all of this. No one should have to die, for love, or otherwise. Everything feels wrong and I can't trust anyone. I partially blame myself, how could I have not noticed what Gina was planning? I could've stopped this, but I was too blind from my own problems to do anything. 

Luke could've been alive, and Gina wouldn't be in prison, if I had just paid more attention.

"Brie, are you ready to go?" Zach gingerly asks from behind me.

"Yeah," I mumble, expelling a heavy sigh. 

Zach didn't even know Luke that well, but it's still upsetting him. I can tell he's bothered, worry has been lining his features ever since I got that call to visit Gina in prison.

I adjust my black coat around my shoulders, not wanting to have to be doing this at all. I wish I could turn back time to when we were all happy and at peace. I want to go back to before Luke dying, and somehow protect him from Gina.

"Zach, do you think those rumors are true?" I ask my boyfriend as we drive to the funeral.

"What rumors?"

"The ones about Luke begging Gina to kill him," I say, the tears starting all over again. I haven't slept properly in weeks, every night I've been haunted by Gina with a malicious grin and Luke on his knees asking her for mercy. I can only imagine how gruesome his death was. 

"I don't know. From those few times that I spent time with Luke, I know that he's a good kid with a good head on his shoulders. I don't think he would do that." 

I shiver runs through me when he mentions Luke with a head on his shoulders. Gina probably decapitated him, which makes it so much worse. 

"I never want anything like this to happen with us. If you love me, you can just tell me. I don't want to die at your hands, or have you die at mine." Tears are freely flowing down my face and everything hurts.

Zach pulls over the car, even though we aren't at the funeral location yet. 

"Brie, it's okay. Everything is going to be fine." He wraps me in a warm hug, rubbing my back slowly. He grips my arms. "Listen to me. No one is going to hurt you, Gina is gone." 

I flinch at her name. "But, Luke is gone too," I wail uncontrollably. 

"Brie, I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do about that anymore, he's gone. The only thing we can do for Luke is attend his funeral and pay our respects." 

"Okay." I hiccup loudly, furiously wiping my eyes, smudging my make up. 

He pulls back into traffic, a comfortable silence settling between us.

~

Stepping out of the car, Zach wraps his hand around mine. Everything is a blur, an undecipherable haze. 

"Ready?" Zach asks. 

I nod.

Everyone at the funeral looks to be in a similar mindset to me, upset, but most of all confused. I think everyone is wondering why Gina killed him. We all knew Gina as someone compassionate and caring, not the type of person to kill someone. 

I mumble a greeting to Jinny, Alex, and a bunch of other people who were friends and family of Luke. I know Calum must be here somewhere, Luke was a fellow band mate of his. I can't even think about Calum being here, it's too overshadowed by Luke being killed. 

"Thank you to everyone for gathering here today. Luke would have appreciated it." Luke's mom, Liz Hemmings addressed the small congregation of people.

My eyes already feel misty, just from looking at Liz, her eyes so sad and full of grief. 

She continues to speak, but I unintentionally tune it out. I can't hear the details of Luke dying one more time, or I think I'll go crazy. 

After she finishes speaking, she motions for Alex to come stand with her at the front. Strange, I didn't think they were close at all. 

"Uh, I'm not sure what to say." Alex fidgets with his suit and looks away from the crowd. 

Luke's parents had chosen to hold all of the funeral outdoors, despite how it usually rains around this time of year. 

Maybe Luke liked being outside. 

I'll never know. Luke is dead.

"Luke was a great lad," Alex falters, looking down at his shaky hands. "If it were up to me, he wouldn't have died." 

Alex can't say anything else, so he just wipes his nose and takes his place next to Jinny and their son. 

A few more members of Luke's extended family take their turns speaking, each saying something kind about Luke. Everyone mentions the unfairness of his death. 

At the end of the funeral, Zach and I bid our goodbyes to the people we know, wishing everyone well. I tell Zach that I need a minute to say my final goodbye to Luke. 

Standing by the edge of the grave, I express to Luke how sorry I am, again. For a few silent moments, I just stand there, crying, hating everything. Some time later, I feel a warm presence pressing into my side.

"Let's go home," Zach says, wrapping an arm around my waist and guiding me to our car, opening the door for me. 

"Thanks, Zach." 

"You're welcome."

~

Zach closes the door of our apartment behind us and sits me down at the kitchen table.

"Are you okay?"

"No, I don't think so."

He rubs my quavering back in a circular motion. "This is really hard on you, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I sigh, "It just feels so much like it's my fault."

"Brie, it's not in anyway your fault."

"I know."

"You can talk to me, whenever you need to, I'll always be here for you. No matter what."

"You'll be with me forever?" I ask, looking at him through my teary eyelashes.

"Yes, of course." Zach wraps me in another one of his soothing hugs, setting me at ease.

He draws in a deep breath. "Brie, I know this isn't the best timing, and I wanted it to be more romantic than this, but I need to do this now."

I realize what he's doing.

Zach is going to ask me to marry him.

"Brie, I love you." 

"I love you too," I say, barely above a whisper, my feeble heart pounding. 

He looks at me for another minute, taking all of me in.

He slowly kneels to the ground, getting onto one knee.

"Brie, will you marry me?" 

"Yes."

I pull him to his feet, wrapping my arms around his neck and colliding into his familiar chest. 

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Zach kisses me on the lips, holding so much promise between us.

"I will love you 'til the end of time," I say.

"I would've waited a million years."


	36. The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically an epilogue 
> 
> (if u've read this much..... why)

Natalie

It was unexpected, even I know that. Everyone thought that Calum and Brie would somehow find their ways back to one another and inexplainably find love together.

It didn't occur to anyone, especially not my friends, that I liked Calum. I made sure to hide it from them, not wanting my feelings exploited, and I definitely didn't want to break the girl code. They were always there though, no matter how buried and latent I kept them.

One day, it all unfolded. I was in a dismal and vulnerable state, missing my dead boyfriend, when Calum entered the picture. We started talking and quickly we became engrossed in each other. We began meeting, at first as friends, but it rapidly developed into something more. We hadn't been dating for more than six months when he proposed to me, telling me that he loved me more than anything.

He was the one, I didn't doubt it.

~

"Natalie, you're getting married in less than twenty minutes, hurry up!" Jinny, my maid of honour, yells, banging on my front door as I scramble to strap my ridiculously fancy heels on.

I had opted to get ready for my wedding on my own, and I sure am regretting that now. Everything took ten times longer than I expected, and I was an emotional wreck the entire time. I was usually diligent and could manage my own mess, but today nothing felt easy. I wanted everything to be perfect for Calum, because he never failed to return the favour for me.

"Natalie, what in the world are you doing?"

I take a fast glance at the clock hanging in the entrance-way. I only have a few minutes before I need to be walking down the aisle.

"Sorry," I call back to her through the door, "I'm just worried I forgot something."

"Doesn't matter at this point, Nat, we have to go, the limo is waiting."

"Okay! I'm coming."

Jinny is impatiently tapping her foot on the step when I open the door.

She smiles exuberantly at me. "Natalie, you look so beautiful."

"Thanks-I'm nervous," I blurt, unable to help myself.

"Don't be. You're going to be fine. You love Cal, and he loves you, so don't worry."

I take a deep breath, trying to settle down as we walk towards the elongated black limo. The driver steps out, opening the door for us. Jinny gestures for me to get in first, then follows me in, sitting beside me and placing a comforting hand on my arm.

"You'll do great. Just make sure to use protection tonight." Jinny winks, never letting a moment pass without her mentioning me sleeping with Calum.

Brie and the rest of my friends often tease me about being a virgin, but they don't know the truth.

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend last year, the one who died. I just never told them because I was too grossed out even thinking about it. It definitely wasn't a good experience, to say the least.

"I know what I'm doing," I insist.

"Sure you do," she sarcastically muses.

I just shake my head, not wanting to think about this before my wedding anymore than I have to.

The limo screeches to a halt. I have to get out of the car now.

Jinny helps me out of the car, guiding me towards the church where the ceremony is going to take place. I think she notices that my entire body is trembling with nerves.

"Jinny, I'm not nervous, I swear!"

She opens the door to the church, shaking her head in denial.

She doesn't believe me. I don't even believe myself.

"Natalie, shut up, you're so nervous," she says, and then mumbles something, but I catch it. "Nervous to get penetrated."

"Oh my god, Jinny, don't ever say that again."

"Sorry, Nat." We get into place, ready to walk down the aisle.

The flower girl, one of Katie's many daughters, sprinkles the way with multi-coloured petals.

I fan at my face with my hand until Jinny grabs my wrist tightly. "Stop it. I have to go the alter now. Go stand with your dad and get ready to get married!"

"O-okay," I stutter, really needing to calm down now.

"You got this. Just remember that ball is life, okay?"

"Yes. Thanks."

Jinny head towards the altar, her long dress swishing behind her. I have to go next. In less than ten minutes I'll be a married woman.

I'll be married to Calum Hood.

I lock eyes with my father. He offers his arm for support, and I gladly take it, needing something to steady myself with.

We slowly step down the aisle. My vibrant blue eyes meet Calum's in a moment of pure fear. Part of me is relieved that he's just as nervous as I am. Soothed, my breathing evens out, as does his.

We're only inches away from each other, and I want nothing more than to collapse into his arms and sob, but I stand tall, listening intently to the pastor.

We follow through with all the standard wedding procedures, but when it comes time for us to say our vows, there's a disturbance in the audience.

At first, I just think that Brie is stretching, or something along those lines. She can't seriously be disturbing my wedding, can she?

When Brie pithily looks at me, I realize what's about to happen.

No. Don't do it. I silently scream to her, letting my face portray every bit of substance against this that I have.

She shakes her head once at me, signaling that it's too late for me to stop her.

Opening her mouth, she lets those dreaded words out.

Brie

The entire ceremony, I've been on the edge, torn between what to do, who to pick. I didn't know how well I knew who I belonged with, until he starts to say his vows.

A secluded part of me always knew, but it was firmly suppressed, all until this very moment, where I just know what to do.

I have to speak now, before it's too late.

I scramble to stand up, wanting to make it clear to Calum that he should choose me, not her. In this dark moment, I don't care about Natalie, or even Zach. All that matters to me is securing my future, before it's cruelly snatched out of my grasp.

"Calum," I start, catching the eyes of everyone in the church. By now, most of my friends and family have heard about my past few months of turmoil, my hasty switching back and forth between Zach and Calum.

"I-I love you, and I want you to marry me, not her." My mother drops her glass in shock, she must be thinking that she raised me better than this, but it doesn't distract me in the slightest, I can't stop now.

"I think that I've loved you all this time. Even that first night we spent together, I knew how I felt about you. I knew, but I couldn't commit, not until now. I still want you Calum."

I pause, trying to regain my composure and gather my thoughts, trying to find the perfect thing to say that'll convince Calum of my undying love.

"Do you still want me?"

He clears his throat, looking at his fiancee frightfully. Natalie is on the brink of tears, I've never seen her so distraught, but there's nothing I can do now.

"Brie-"

I shut my eyes, almost wanting to cross my fingers for good luck.

"Yes."

He steps down from the altar, pressing one last kiss to the back of Natalie's shaking hand. He whispers something, probably an apology.

A single tear slides down Natalie's face, but Calum still walks away from her, moving to stand in front of me.

He bends down to whisper in my ear, "Run away with me?"

"Okay."

He takes my small hand in his, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "Are you sure about this?"

"I've never been so sure about anything," I say.

We step into the aisle together, not caring that everyone in the building is gawking at us with wide eyes and open mouths.

Calum and I sprint down towards the doors together, hand in hand. I throw one last glance at Zach, almost expecting him to follow me, or beg for me to stop and reconsider. He doesn't though, and maybe he knows as well as I do, that I belong with Calum. 

~

Zach

For a few moments, I truly felt like I was stuck in time.

Even before she got up, even before we arrived at the wedding venue, I could see the conflicted expression written on her face. The heavy doubt and perpetual uncertainty of what was to come.

Before she stood up, I knew what she was going to say.

For a second, I tried not to believe it. I desperately tried to shut my eyes and not think of her angelic voice, crying out for a man; A man that wasn't me.

When I proposed to her, I lied.

I truly felt that asking her to marry me when she was in such a raw and emotional state could forever bound her to me, because I was aware of her changing moods and whimsical tendencies. I couldn't hold her down. No one could. After all, all those placid four years of our relationship let me get to know her the most. She was a hurricane, and I held the honour of getting swept up in her erratic storm.

I felt like I was in a constant battle with Calum, ever since the day he suddenly appeared in my life. Taking away the thing most precious to me, destroying the future I had planned out, with the girl I had decided to spend the rest of my life with.

But to be completely honest, I wasn't mad at him.

I was angry at myself.

To think that he could sweep her away so easily, after all the time we spent together, building up the walls of our relationship. After all the times we crossed our fingers underneath the warm cotton blankets, and whispered how much we loved each other, with noses touching and the affectionate feeling of our fingers intertwined. It left me to wallow in a hole of self-pity and insecurities, not believing myself to be good enough, and always anxiously wondering who she'll choose in the end, blindly hoping it'll be me. But when Brie scrambled to stand up, in that socially awkward fashion I always found adorable, I already knew.

When she opened her mouth to cry out, I didn't hear her voice.

I didn't hear the sounds of all the wedding guests seated around her gasp in shock. I didn't hear the sound of a wine glass loudly shatter on the ground next to me. All I saw was her face. So beautiful, yet so determined and sure of herself.

Her hands shaking a bit, reached out to him. She rambled on and on, her words stumbling over her sentences, coming out a bit too quick, but not still not quick sure of themselves as she finished.

I looked over at Calum, unsure of his response, but when I saw the relieved look on his face, I thought, he knew that this was going to happen from the very beginning, and his face pulled into a longing smile.

I didn't watch them leave.

~

Even though no one was getting married, the wedding somehow managed to carry on anyway.

"I kind of knew he still loved Brie," Natalie laughs, apparently totally impervious to the fact that her husband-to-be just disappeared with one of her closest friends, possibly to elope. "But somebody's gotta finish the cake! I didn't spend a ton of money for it to end like this," She smiles.

Standing far away in an isolated corner, I held up a neatly cut piece of wedding cake, untouched, on a paper plate.

I stare down at my shoes, unfazed. I feel the stares from the other guests, gazes full of pity and much-deserved concern. I even got some murmurs that weren't at all quiet.

"Wait isn't that Brie's boyfriend?"

"No, it's her fiance!"

"You mean the girl that just ran off with the groom?"

For some reason, I feel a strong urge to defend her, which is the complete opposite of what I should be feeling. Am I happy she chose Calum over me? No. Yet, I can't get rid of the feeling that maybe I had expected it all along, just like Calum did.

I have no reason to be here, and I start for the exit, wanting to remove myself from it all. But before I could, I see her, and I stop, dead in my tracks.

Not Brie, but for a tiny sliver of a moment, she made me feel all the fervent emotions and passion I had felt in every waking moment with Brie. They were so completely different, from the way she carried herself, slowly and without strain, but effortlessly. I hadn't seen her in so long, I almost forgot about her, but how could I? She was the one who brought Brie and I together. The girl who was irrevocably my friend, the one who I could imagine as clear as day, lightly hitting my arm in the middle of gym class, and telling me with a sly smile, "Zach! Go for her!"

But of course, she's not Brie.

I hadn't seen her since we graduated from high school, but with no doubt, it was her. She looks older and seems to have became more mature, in the long years we had been apart. But, I smile as I notice her old habit of fidgeting with the hem of her dress. She was still the same girl on the inside, she never did like dresses.

When she notices me, her long brown hair sways gently behind her as she makes her way over to me. Her focused chocolate brown eyes are trained on me, but the moment we make eye contact, I can see her fixed look soften just a teeny bit.

We stand close, but not facing each other. Our eyes straight forward, scrutinizing the crowd of guests, managing to have fun in the aftermath of such a disaster wedding. We stay like that for a moments until she finally breaks the silence.

"Why didn't you go after her?" She says, seeming to be genuinely interested.

"I don't know," I answer, honestly.

She sighs, and throws me a spiritless laugh, "You guys were always my one true pairing, you know, and I can't believe all of my high school hours filled with tears and sweat has led up to this." She punches my shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, just like she always used to, and says quietly, "I thought you loved her."

"I still do," I breathe.

I can already feel the expression on her face contort into one of worry and the one question outlining them all, why?

My voice catches in my throat and facing her now, I feel helpless and alone, "I think I knew from the very beginning, that I was going to lose, but I was just too afraid. We had been together for so long, I just couldn't see a world without her, and I was too much of a coward to let her go. I think I was holding her down. She felt obligated to be with me and I-" I pause, taking in a deep breath, "I think she's happier with Calum."

She grips my arm, holding me steady, "Are you sure about this?"

I nod, "After Gina killed Luke, I really thought about what it meant to really love someone. Don't you think true love is putting someone else's needs before your own?" I look away. "If I truly love Brie, I'm happy with whatever decision she makes."

She looks at me, her eyes showing a bit of regret, "I know, I understand completely."

I'm a bit confused, but assume that she's also had her share of romantic troubles along the road of life that I am just unaware about.

She whispers, "Sometimes I just want to completely restart and forget, you know? I need a completely new start, where I'm free of all of my previous troubles."

I agree, "Yeah, but who broke your heart?"

She looks at me, and I can feel my heart pounding loud and clear in my ears. Her eyes are focused, but the overwhelming look of anguish is sharp, a feeling that cuts into me like a cool blade. How come I never questioned her overpowering desire to get me to like Brie? I could already hear her words, 'I was too scared to know, maybe it would be better if you liked her,' and I feel my gut twist in guilt. How did I never realize that she was one to come across my definition of love, to think that she truly loved me, no matter what decision I made.

I swallow, "Maybe it isn't too late, to restart."

She smiles again, "It wouldn't be much of a restart for me though, would it?"

I take her hand into mine, her cool fingers contrasting my warm ones. I grip it tightly, a bit scared to let go. This time, I'm not scared to look away.

"But maybe you can teach me, we can learn together, a different definition on what it means to love someone," I grin, "And if it were up to me, no hearts will be broken this time."

She squeezes my hand and I feel an incredible urge to kiss her, her face looking as guileless and adamant as it did before, "I think I'd be fine with that, Zach," And smiles.

I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, and my hand lingers a bit on her cheek. Maybe it's too early to fall in love with someone else. But standing before me, I already know. She understands me, we understand each other. It's simple.

"I think I'd be fine with that too, Olenna."


	37. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case u wanted to know what happens to everyone else...

Katie and Michael 

Katie and Michael threw smiles at each other for almost two more years before Katie became pregnant with their first child. She named her daughter Melanie, after one of her favourite artists. Katie and Michael loved being parents, so they decided to produce four more children, who all turned out to be incredibly aesthetic and cool. The next three children were named Lana, Sky, and Iker. Their fifth born child looked so much like Michael that Katie decided to name him Michael the second. All of their children ended up dying their hair different shades, but only when Michael gave them permission to do so. Katie and Michael lived a long, happy and aesthetic life together.

 

Jinny and Alex

Jinny and Alex became one of those inseparable couples that were always referred to as 'relationship goals'. Alex took Max in as his own, and raised him into a totally hipster child who played the guitar, and would sometimes play soccer in the park with Jinny on weekends. Eventually, Alex and Jinny decided they wanted another baby of their own. On January 14th, Jinny gave birth to an amazing baby girl named Evelyn. When Evelyn was two years old, Jinny and Alex decided to officially get married. Jinny changed hers and her children's last names to Turner so they became Jinny Turner, Max Turner and Evelyn Turner. During the time when Alex was on tour with the Arctic Monkeys, Jinny started a cult, the cult was a branch of the Illuminati called the JC cult. To this day, there are still rumors that John Cena joined this cult.

Brie and Calum

They ended up finding true love together, despite all of their struggles. Brie eventually apologized to Natalie for ruining her wedding and they became good friends again. Calum and Brie both fully supported Zach and Olenna's relationship and they often went on double dates together with them. When Brie was 29 she gave birth to her one and only daughter, Stella, who was named after an All Time Low song. Brie never cheated again and was perfectly invested in Calum. As their daughter grew up, Brie and Calum became the ultimate soccer parents. They would always be found at the soccer field giving out oranges to all the young soccer players. When Stella was eight years old, she played Evelyn Turner in a intense soccer game and beat her 4-3. Calum was a proud dad.

Natalie

Natalie didn't waste any time moving on from Calum. Within a month she was dating an exotic and foreign soccer player, named Cameron, who had a six pack. She was also a soccer mom, but her four kids played in a very elite league, so they never played against Brie or Jinny's children. Natalie was a happy mother of two boys and two girls. She lived a perfect life in the suburbs and drove her kids to school in a minivan every day. She made sure none of her kids got into any trouble and shied them away from any type of 'deez nuts' joke.

Gina

Gina supposedly lived a sad and lonely life in prison. Only a few people knew of her secret meetings with Harry Styles. Harry would sneak into her maximum security prison every third night to serenade her with his voice. Gina lived out her life sentence and died at the age of 73. She never regretted killing Luke.

Zach and Olenna

They loved each other until the end of time. Zach and Olenna were perfect for each other, and often wondered why they had to go through so much to find love together. They had an amazing baby boy named Caleb, who looked uncannily alike with Zach. Caleb grew up to become an astonishingly good hockey player and played on all the rep teams as a defense-man. He always played as #18 swearing the number brought him good luck. Olenna was always worried about her baby boy getting hurt, but he was always fine. Zach always coached the teams and led them to success, despite not having any previous coaching experience. When Caleb was 14, Zach taught him how to play the acoustic guitar. One day, Caleb  
and Zach serenaded Olenna by playing the song Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey, and Olenna almost died of happiness.

Everyone lived happily ever after.

THE END


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